Why Don't I Feel Like Me Anymore? Matrescence, Identity & Returning to Work with Amanda Jackson
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What is matrescence and why have I never heard of it before?
Welcome to the Working Mama Podcast, the show where we have the honest, unfiltered conversations about navigating work, motherhood, identity, and everything in between. Have you ever returned from parental leave and thought, Who am I anymore? Have you found yourself standing in your old office, sitting in your old role, but feeling like a completely different person wearing someone else's clothes? That sense of disorientation, that identity shift, that quiet grief of who you were before. You know what? It has a name. And once you know that name, everything else makes sense. Trust me, when I first heard this word, it was like a light bulb that went off. It was amazing. And today on the podcast, I'm joined by Amanda Jackson, the founder of Motherhood and Matrescence, author of the book by the same name, Mum of Three Boys, and someone who has dedicated her career to helping women understand and navigate the profound transformation of becoming a mum.
Today we are deep diving into matrescence. Yes, this is the word. The process of becoming a mum. We're talking about the identity shift that hits you when you return to work, the invisible loads that we're all carrying, what actually happens to your brain. Spoiler, it's not a deficit, it's instead an upgrade. And the practical steps that you can take to come back to yourself. With your you're currently on parental leave, freshly back at work, or a few years in and still wondering when you're going to feel like your old self again, this conversation is for you. Let's get into it. Welcome Amanda to the Working Mama podcast. How's your day going so far? Yeah, really good. Thanks for having me. This is lovely to be with you today.
I can't wait to get into it. But before we do, do you want to just tell us a little bit about yourself and your career journey today?
Yeah, sure. So I'm the founder of Motherhood and Matrescence and also an author of a book by the same name. Um, I'm a mum of three boys, and originally I started actually working out in corrective services and then youth work and then went into corporate for a little bit and then came to return to my academic roots, which is looking at, I guess, women's experience in society. So sociology. Psychology. And um and my thesis was in the regulation of women's bodies. So it feels full circle to now return to this this work after having
kids. Oh, it's amazing. So we're gonna talk things all things identity today and definitely around the topic of matrescence, which is a topic that and a word that I know that not everyone actually knows about. There's a lot that's also being said at the moment to get into it. So let's just start from the top. Amanda, what is the word matrescence? What does it mean? And why have we really never heard too much of it? Because matrescence, if you type it in, it's actually not in the dictionary.
Yes, correct. There's um there's I think one online dictionary that that has it and that's about it. It's always in my spell check constantly. So you're right, we haven't we haven't heard about it, even though the term was coined in uh nineteen seventy-three. We we're only just hearing about it now. And in short, it's the process of becoming a mum. Um, I guess the longer definition would be to say that it's a normal developmental transition that women go through every time they become mums. So it's not just with our first child, it's every time. And it really doesn't matter how we become a mum, we're going to go through matrescence because it's a rite of passage that belongs to all mums.
We know about adolescence and the journey of of becoming a teenager. And as you s just said about the rite of passage, become a mum, is matrescence. What kind of changes and that do we go through through that identity of becoming a mum and and in that journey? Like what does it mean? And there's so much that I know that we have on the podcast that talks about the identity shift. And often I'll then say, well, that's matrescence. Like what is the I guess the journey of matrescence and what goes into the makeup of it?
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is matrescence and why have I never heard of it before?
0:00–14:51
2
How does the three‑stage model of matrescence (separation, liminality, integration) explain the identity shift after having a child?
14:51–28:12
3
Why do many women feel they’ve lost themselves and experience an “invisible load” when they become mothers?
28:12–40:28
4
What actually happens to a mother’s brain – is it “mummy brain” or a neurological upgrade?
40:28–45:00
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Working Mumma
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