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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome to the You Wouldn't Podcast. Public holiday. Public fucking holiday. I'm bringing in energy. Energy. Energy. Is it a public holiday nationwide? Energy. Apologies if it's not. I feel like Perth is probably on a different wavelength to us. Hey, international-wise as well, we do have international listeners. Yeah, but it's obviously not a public holiday international. Energy. Is it?
Or is it King's birthday? Is it the NK's birthday? Fuck that, bro. It's not actually his birthday because don't we always have a long weekend here? If there's one fucking thing that that useless old sack of shit is worth, it's for his fucking birthday where we get a long weekend. It's not actually his birthday, Bart. I'm pretty sure. Must be.
Nah, it's like, because don't we always have a long weekend at this time anyway? You know what I mean? I don't remember that. Yeah, we do, bro. Because it was called the Queen's birthday when the Queen was in. Yeah, but it was a different date. Are you sure? Yeah. Yes. The King's official birthday is the 8th of June, Monday. Yeah. What? So it changes. Yes. That's a spin out, bro.
I swear it was always in June. What a great birthday though. You'd want a middle of the year birthday. Cause imagine his birthday was December 24. And it's like, okay, I guess I've, but now that's fucking lit. Okay. So happy birthday to you, mate. You're a better man than your brother. That's for sure. Fucking oath, you fucking dog cunt. And I think your family's fucking useless as fuck.
Well, just listen. Let's not go that far. The royal family. You know I'm not a believer in the royal family, but maybe they're not useless. I reckon they're useless, and I reckon we should knock your little fucking palace down. I agree with that. And build a wet and wild. You know my thoughts on the royal family. Build a wet and wild. You just get born into it like, hello. Anyway.
Stop fucking five-year-olds. I've got something. Yeah, what? I want to do it. Can I get, I've got this one line. I've just got this rap battle stuck in my head. I want to get off my chest first. Okay. Yo, it's finally here. It's that time of the year when you get reminded you're queer and your girl's forced to sit on a Heineken beer. This is where the shit stops.
Now you got me pissed off without sounding corny. What the fuck you do to hip hop? Okay. Thank you. Now, it is finally here. It is that time of the year where P. Clitty, Sonny's come off, talks about the fucking removalists. I'm giddy. I'm giddy. I don't know this update. So let it be known. I'll give you a quick elevator pitch if you missed it. Oh, well, you're a dumb cunt if you missed it.
Tiana, move from the Central Coast. We got removalists, right? They originally on the phone said it'll be like eight hours. And then every hour after that will be like 50% off or whatever. Two men, one truck, whatever. Oh, I love that. Then the morning comes and I'm there. Then they get there and they're like, oh, look, it's more than we thought it would be.
Even though she listed out everything they asked for, like they asked and she did it. She was like, no worries. Understandable. All good. Like get the two extra guys in the truck. No dramas. I'll pay for it. All good. They come, they start packing away. And they're all right. You know what I mean? I won't get wrong. They're okay. Long elevator ride. Yeah, it's a fight.
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Chapter 2: What experiences do they share about hiring removalists?
He's nowhere to be seen. I call him like, Hey mate, where are you? He goes, I'm in bed. He blocks my number. Doesn't reply to our texts. Never hear from him again. Just leaves our house open. Her house open in the central coast with all fucking important shit in there. Right? So I'm fucking furious. I'm blowing up.
I'm trying to speak to the removalist that call them up the hot, like their service desk. They don't want a bar of it. Never get furious. They don't want a bar of it. They also broke a chest of drawers. They were like, listen, we'll offer you like 500 bucks compensation. I was like, that doesn't even cover the fucking chest of drawers you broke. You fucking pieces of shit.
Anyway, we got in a big back and forth and it turned out that fuck it. Tiana just took the money because there was no getting through to them. Anyway. I've never been more on your side because normally when you bring up something, that's like these people fucked me. I'm always a little bit like... No. How was Pat real? How was Pat?
But this, I'm like... Well, it was kind of... It was always in the back of my mind. I was like, I'll bring it up on the pod, but like... Kind of out of sight, out of mind. Whenever I see the truck, which I'll reveal the name in a second, I always stop and have a look if it's that driver because I want to fucking rip into that car. Like, fuck that, bro. He's like, me and him have beef.
Anyway, yesterday, Lara, my sister, calls me. And she goes, hey, what's the name of that removalist company? Because her best friend, who's got a fucking young baby, just moved house. And they were trying to, they were like doing, she goes, I'm doing a bit of a shit job. And then the dining table was coming in and they're like, we can't lift it. There's only two of us.
And her mom was like, lift it. Like the last people, your removal. Like the last two people brought it in and they go, well, you do it then to the mom. The mom's like, it's not my fucking job. And they go, right. Well, we're going to go get lunch. Went to get lunch. Never came back. Never heard from him again. What's the company? Reveal it right now. CBD Removalists. Fuck them. CBD Removalists.
Bro, when I... Kyle, this is a clip. Yeah, clip it. Purely for the sake... Let's destroy the company. Guys, no, I'm not even kidding. Like, just reshare the fuck out of this reel so nobody books them. I shit you not. They are the worst removalist company. They ripped us off. They ripped off our friends. If you go on their Google reviews, all their good reviews are from fucking sus names.
And there's so many bad reviews that... I'm telling you with everything I fucking have, do not use CBD removalists.
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Chapter 3: What went wrong during the removal process?
They are fucking shocking. They don't answer your calls. They literally block your number and just leave your house. Like they leave your house and block your number and they leave shit at your old house mid move. Like they legit do half the job. And then just block your number and disappear in the abyss. Let's tag them in.
And then when you try to call them, you get respectfully, you get sent to some fucking like call center. That's not Australian based, but it's, but they're not communicative at all. Like, it's not like they're so like, they're rude to you. They know what they're doing. You know what I mean? Like it's just fucking shocking. It's fucking pisses me off a lot and they're awful and do not use them.
CBD removalists, they're all across the country. Do not fucking use them. Like seriously, like I want to start a movement, bro. Can we do that thing that we wanted to do where we plan a massive move from somewhere far away and they say we need six trucks and then we drive them to a location. Can we get done for that? Fuck no. I'll do it privately, but we can't announce it.
We can't make content out of it. What if we mask up? Well, now it's all on the record. Yeah, true. Fuck. Like, they're just pieces of shit, bro. And don't get me wrong. Like, they brought out a bad side of me. Like, I'm not proud of the way I fucking spoke to them on the phone myself. Oh, the yelling. Oh, man. Oh, we can release the tapes now. We can release the tapes.
I've got a six and a half minute long video of you screaming at this person. Yeah, because they were screaming at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. Like, they were going, no, listen here. Fuck you, buddy. I'm like, no, well, fuck you, cunt. Like, we're going into it, bro. Listen here. I will burn your company to the ground. I did say that. I said that. And I'm doing it right now.
I will fucking burn your entire company to the ground, mate. And this is the thing, right? On my piece. Yes, we paid them for the work they did. I'm not denying that, right? Like their argument was you paid for the work that they finished. It was like, okay, fair enough. We did pay for that work. They did complete that. One, not at the rate they said. Two, not at the discounted rate after the...
eight hours or whatever the agreed one is. The great period was over the phone.
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Chapter 4: How did they react to the removalist's poor service?
And then, yeah, they, they were like, Oh, we'll pay you 500 bucks for the chest of drawers. And it's like, okay, where's the compensation for you saying you would move the whole house in one day and then not moving the whole house. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like I don't get your argument to me is null and void of weight. You paid for what we did. No, no, no.
You didn't do what we agreed on though. Sure. I paid for what the amount of work you'd done up to that point. but you still agreed to do the rest of the work and you didn't do it and blocked our number.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? I want that to be clear. I don't want there to be an argument of like, yeah, but they still did the work. Yeah, they did, but not what they agreed upon. And then to block my number and not even have the guts to be like, hey, mate, I'm actually not doing it. And then lie and say someone from our office called you to tell you, no, they didn't, cunt. No, they fucking didn't.
And you, you fuck pig, said, can I do it tomorrow when I don't have the work truck and they don't have the tracker on it and I can get paid instead of paying the company? You fucking slimy little weasel. When I see you, I'll rip your fucking... You want to find this other driver? I don't know what he would look like now. Okay, ready? I'm the driver.
No, I couldn't because I've seen trucks since and I can't... But let's just say I'm the driver. You know for a fact it's me and I've just hopped out of the removalist truck and I'm on my way to get lunch. Ready? I bet. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. You were at my removalist from Central Coast to Randwick. Maybe. I've done a few of those jobs. No, you definitely were. Okay. And you blocked my number.
Is this your number here? I'd get the number up. Yeah, that's my number.
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Chapter 5: What are their thoughts on the royal family?
So you didn't reply to me and you blocked my number and then you denied it to your company. I start walking away. You denied it to your company. I'm walking away. I would grab his wallet and take out like as much money as there was. That's for the compensation, cunt. So you'd rob him on the spot. Yeah. You'd rob him. It's not robbing, bro. He robbed me. So you'd burgle him. You'd rob him.
On the street, daylight robbery. If he had like a few hundred cash, that's mine, cunt. Cause we had to then pay someone else the next day to go do his fucking job. You'd wrestle cash out of him. I wouldn't, I'm saying like if his wallet was left down or something, you know what I mean? Like I wouldn't fucking like grab him and wrestle him for his wallet.
But like if his wallet was sitting in the truck and he like got out, I'd probably nip a bit of money out of it and call it a fucking, call it even. Would you feel good? Fucking would I feel good, bro? 100%. And I'd want to use that money for the most useless thing. I'd take a photo of his license too and then report him to the company and all that shit. But the company don't care.
They were like, no, we spoke to the driver. He said it didn't happen. I was like, well, no shit. He said it didn't happen, you fuck pig. Like obviously he said it didn't happen. But he's going to say, yeah, I fucking blocked their number and stopped replying. This is what pissed me off the most, bro. I sent them screenshots of the text. They were like, where's your proof?
I was like, here is the proof. I called them. Here's the call log. And I texted him being like, hey, cunt, where are you? I was like, hey, man, are you bringing the stuff or not? Can you just let me know? Hey, man. Because as far as I'm aware, he had the stuff. He said he was doing it. So I was like, hey, dude, do you have the stuff or not? Like, we need to know that at least.
I don't care if you're not coming back. Do you have our stuff in your truck? Didn't reply. So I sent it to them. They go, it's a bit weird. Why would you text him at 10 30 PM at night? He left at six o'clock. It's an hour and a half there. Pack up the truck an hour and a half back. As soon as it got to like a time period, I was kind of like, fuck, where is this cunt? I text him.
And like, it's weird. You text him at that time. It's like, do you understand how like you don't? Oh bro. So now I'm fucking boiled again. Sorry. CBD removalists. Five star health rated chip. It's like a red... Bro, I'm telling you, like... Everyone go leave bad Google reviews, please. Please, you wouldn't. If there's one thing I need, don't buy a hoodie. Don't buy a live show ticket.
Slug them with bad reviews. Please go leave fucking awful, awful reviews. Like really, really poor reviews. Let's destroy the company. I legit want to wake up Tuesday morning after this episode's out and see 5,000 negative Google reviews. Just give them half a star. Didn't do the job properly. Like something tiny, whatever. Dude, what if we destroyed their company? Please. Love to.
Bro, it's something a current affair would eat up, but I'm not going on a current affair. Do it. Nah, fucking cringe. I'm going to message them way of a story. How funny of a law would that be? Do you want me to read out some of the reviews? I've got it up here. Here we go. Oh, that. You got some? That's good for me. Wow. That was very Cody-esque. That was very Cody. Very Cody-esque. Righto.
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Chapter 6: How do they compare food culture in the USA and Europe?
Well, then just go CBD. Go more businesses. No, that's it. CBD. Nah, because there was heaps more. Because they're like nationwide. CBD movers? 1.6k. It's not Sydney. We need to find exactly who it is. I'll find it right now. Oh, that's like Sydney CBD. Yeah, that's not them. Because that's saying like if you're in the CBD of Sydney. It's a red one. I don't want to fuck over another company.
But they definitely have a Google. Yeah, yeah, yeah. CBD Movers. Yeah, that's them. CBD Movers. Yeah, here, down here. CBD Movers. So you've got to re-say it. Why? What did I say? CBD Removalists. That's them. That's them. Just say it again. CBD Removalists. No, completely wrong. Not the company. Just say it to the camera again. Say it to the camera for the clip. CBD Movers. CBD Movers.
They're like a red and black kind of vibe. Great. And we'll put a photo of them. Yeah, I'll put this up. Fuck, 1,800 reviews. Hey, this is it. Just go CBD Movers, not Sydney. Keep scrolling down. No, not Sydney. Because they're all nationwide. They've got 11K reviews on this one. 11K. Yeah, there you go. Get on there. And like, go to the good reviews, bro. They're all sus names.
What's a sus name? Just kind of like, they just look fake. Here we go. One star. Let's read this. Wait, let me just... I love that this has happened. Can we please zoom in bestie? If I could give zero stars, I would. This was an extremely poor and distressing experience from start to finish. Hit more. The. Hit more. Team advised they were 30 minutes away at 11 a.m.
You did not arrive until 2 p.m. Despite arriving late, they were scheduled to move. A full household did not finish until 9.40. They were left scattered. Most concerning, the property was left unsecured. That's what you said happened to yours. Gate left open. Well, our front door was left open. Lack of professionalism, care, communication, basic duty of responsibility. 24 likes.
Yeah, bro, I'm telling you. They legit said, where's your proof? And Tiana sent the text message of all the stuff. Tiana sent a photo of, hey, just confirming this is all the stuff you still need to collect. And they were like, that's not enough proof. Look at this as well. Look at these lying cunts in the fucking chat. See, like her profile picture is like a fucking dog.
It's like, that's just not you, cunt. She's left five reviews. See, that's weird. Yeah, but it's not going to be the same people every time. Would have been one star, but the actual pair who did the removal were very respectful and helpful in the lead up. So the team, so that was two stars because the team was so fucked. A lot of five stars, a lot of threes, a lot of fives. Hit the one, bro.
Hit the one stars. Hit the one stars, please. Fuck, how do I go back? Can you search up just one stars? Yeah. How? Go down. Go lowest. Lowest. Sought by lowest. And then a zoom, please. We had a very disappointing experience with the company. We booked them to move a fridge and a small chest and a freezer bed frame.
We were quoted over the phone based on the exact items paid a deposit to secure today's booking. Exactly what happened. Two moves arrived, look at the items, said they needed a third person and left to pick him up and they never returned. So it happens all the time. So it just fucking happens. Keep going. Wait, we got to see what they did. Go up, sorry. After an hour...
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Chapter 7: What humorous experiences do they share about weddings?
Like, they've got things of like... And again, this isn't like a... I'm not even going to bother, bro. Honestly, fucking fuck them off. So... I'm not even going to bother. I went to Frango's in Rose Bay on a brighter night. Fucking cunts, bro. I went to Frango's in Rose Bay. Yeah. And you know, when a shop first opens and like the vibes are high. Yeah.
And like the guy came up to me, he was like, Hey boys, how are you going? Like, he was like clearly the shop owner. And he was like, Okay, this could be another Will's a cunt moment. Probably most likely will be. And I really enjoyed our chat. He was like, hey, boys, how you going? I was like, good, Brian. It's, like, nice, you know, you get talked to. It felt nice.
Because we were just waiting for our food. Yeah. And then I go – Oh, sorry, he worked there? I think he was, like, the franchisee or, like, the owner of this store, manager. Yeah. And I was like, dude, it's so sick you guys have opened here in Rose Bay. Because when I was in year seven, you guys had the shop across the road. It was like, yeah, yeah, we were across there.
But now we've come back here. I was like, it's so awesome. Like, yeah, I'm so excited. Yeah, we've opened it up for like the real hardcore fans. You know, the real hardcore Frangos fans. We've done it for them. And I was like, have you or have you just opened a shop in Rose Bay? Like, have you opened the Rose Bay shop for your hardcore fans? Or to print some more money. Or to franchise, bro.
Like, that's what you've done. You've opened a store because it's a great location and you want to fucking grow. Like, good on you. But it was such a bizarre. I was like, what a strange wording for that. Yeah, we've opened up for the hardcore fans. It's like if you watch a Marvel movie, they're like, we put that little Easter egg in for the hardcore fans, if they know. It's like, I don't know.
And then I'm picturing what is a hardcore fan of Frango's look like? Well, I think it's like maybe a lot of people from that area still travel to like Marrickville or Sydenham or something to get it. Yeah, well, I went to Kent Street once for it in the middle of the city. There you go. You're a hardcore fan. Maybe I am a hardcore fan. Dude, they're chili. I need to do an investigation.
Pat's investigated and broken up in the case of CBD. I need to figure out what's in their chili sauce. The chili mayo butt. Well, the chili sauce is like a chili mayo. No, when they mix the mayo and the chili sauce in a tart. Oh, right. Yeah, no. Just the chili sauce, bro. I don't know what's in it. It's good. I think it's a bit lemony from memory or no? It's almost garlicky.
No, it is a bit lemony. That's exactly the right word for it. It's fucking really yummy, bro. Frango's is cracker. And I feel so bad for other states. I want to know, like, what do other states have that's, like, their thing? You know? Like, Wollongong has Chixos. What's it called? Wollongong's just a city, brother. Yeah, I know it's a city, but like they've got Chico's. Chico's or some shit.
Yeah. Newcastle had... I swear Newcastle had one. Even if it's not a chicken shop, like even if it's just like... The Central Coast has... Fuck, what was the Central Coast one, bro? Do you look up Central Coast chicken chain? And it honestly just looked like it replicated chargrills. Really? Like it could even be chargrills just rebranding to like a different. Oh, I remember you told me that.
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Chapter 8: What is their final message regarding the removalist company?
I'd have to throw a Portuguese chicken burger on my death row. I'd have to. Yeah, I think Ogalo's still the goat of the Portuguese burger. I think it's Olay and Frangos for me. I actually haven't had the Frangos one yet. You went there. Yeah, I do the quarter chicken or the half chicken and chips. Oh, bro. Yum, yum, yum. Frango burger with the sauce. Ogalo's third place for me.
Actually, maybe Ole's third place. I've been at Ogalo in so long. Their chili sauce is good as well. It's just like chili oil. I haven't had Ogalo in years.
uh speaking of robbery and getting robbed is this what it is yeah yeah i just had a random thought i was watching a video the other day and it was some girl being like stoked reading she looks she does reading all the cards from um my wedding and it's like just her opening the card and like tons of money falling out but pretending it's not there and on the table is just like so much money and i was like bro if i was a small-time crim don't you reckon fucking robbing a wedding would be the go
How much would you get if you robbed a 7-Eleven? A couple packs of cigs and a few hundred bucks? But are you smoking them yourself or are you going to go off and sell the cigs? Well, I don't know. Maybe a bit of both. Like, you know, you're not getting a lot and you're looking at jail time.
Bro, if you just walk into a wedding in a suit, everyone's kind of like no one, like you don't know everyone at a wedding and you just fucking noink the wishing well card box and fuck off. You get thousands of dollars a wedding. I think that, and you know what? There's something about, you'd pick a very expensive, lavish one. So it's almost like Robin Hood-esque.
If you pick like a Greek wedding or like one of those that are like fucking- So it's racially targeted for you. Well, Greek weddings are notoriously much bigger. Yeah. Yeah. They're fucking huge. Yeah. And it's almost like a, it's still, I think it's still a- I guarantee you should put money in a card at a wedding, but I think it's almost like a sin if you don't in some cultures.
Yeah, I think Asian cultures as well, they gift a lot. Oh, I feel like they fucking would go nuts. Yeah, bro, like they gift so... Bro, if you just nipped one of them off... Thousands. You know where they're not going? And you're not really... There's not real... You know what I mean? You probably get away with it. More chance to get away with that than a 7-Eleven.
Do you know where you want to get married? Yeah, somewhere. Maybe like Boweral kind of vibe. Oh, that's right. We've had this discussion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good little knock there, eh? I reckon that would be almost the least. Even if you just ballied up and ran in. Like no one's really like. Well, people would scream the house down.
If it's in a bit of a tucked away spot, you just get it. I don't know. So let's say you had to rob $25,000 in a month. Well, weddings. You're going to just hit weddings? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm hitting weddings. It doesn't hurt anybody. Like you're not, no, no. It's not like you're mugging someone on the street. That's going to leave them scarred.
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