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You Wouldn't

The 10 Caravandments

03 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the 10 commandments for a campervan trip?

0.031 - 11.145 Unknown

What's that? It's the sound of our camper van flying through the states, because let me tell you something, we're zooming and we're coming to you very shortly. Pat, where the hell are we going?

0

11.165 - 22.901 Will Gibb

We're going to Gold Coast on the 10th of June, Coffs on the 12th, Newcastle on the 13th, Canberra on the 14th, 16th in Wollongong and the 24th in Sydney, but if you're not fucking quick enough, tickets are selling fast, so you might not be there.

0

22.961 - 27.827 Unknown

Tickets are selling out, so by the time you hear this, you've got to jump online or else you're probably going to miss out.

0

38.641 - 41.985 Will Gibb

I'm fucking sorry about a huge cough in your ears to start the podcast.

0

42.005 - 43.066 Unknown

I'm not sorry. Here's another.

44.608 - 49.012 Will Gibb

Shit. Imagine that. Do you reckon more people listen with earphones or without? Without.

49.052 - 65.931 Unknown

I think 90% of people are driving. But what about cunts commuting to work and that? Oh, true. If you're commuting to work and you're in like a packed train right now and you're looking around, do you ever just start laughing? Because I assume we're pretty funny. And you just get all manic and shit. That'd be hilarious.

65.911 - 72.579 Will Gibb

We're just laughing in public with earphones in. You look like a fucking dweeb, I think. But do it. Don't let it stop you.

73.96 - 87.936 Unknown

Dweebs are good. Thanks for jumping onto the podcast, guys. It really means a lot. Let me start by saying, happy Anzac Day. Don't take the piss. I'm not taking the piss. Happy Anzac Day.

Chapter 2: How did Will's ANZAC Day show turn into a nightmare?

203.349 - 212.825 Will Gibb

Yeah, I was at a lot of talk. I didn't go to the dawn service. When did I say I was? But we'll first... Yeah, but you said a lot of... Don't take the piss. Yeah, you shouldn't take the piss. It's a day we remember. We celebrate.

0

212.865 - 215.569 Kyle

We support. The least you could do is wake up a bit early.

0

215.589 - 221.639 Will Gibb

I didn't go to the... Tiana went to the dawn service. I stayed home in case Lani woke up.

0

221.659 - 226.228 Unknown

Good little excuse there. Great little excuse there to throw in.

0

226.488 - 234.563 Will Gibb

Sure. If you want to call it that. Yeah. But Anzac Day, I love it. It's one of my favourite days of the year. Did you go to the Dawn Service, Kyle?

235.145 - 236.187 Kyle

I did. Good man.

236.207 - 236.908 Will Gibb

What one do you go to?

237.87 - 239.693 Kyle

Bondi. Oh, that's a good one.

239.814 - 242.318 Unknown

What one do you go to? I didn't go. There you go.

Chapter 3: What did the spelling bee experience reveal about Will?

2112.662 - 2129.15 Unknown

Yeah, like noodles and shit. I'm eating two-minute noodles from 7-Eleven. Fuck, guys, we're only eating 7-Eleven for the whole week. Ten days or some shit. Fucking hell. Okay, well, rule number six. Is there a washing, dishwashing machine?

0

2129.851 - 2131.613 Kyle

No, fuck no.

0

2131.633 - 2132.935 Unknown

Was that a crazy question? I don't think so.

0

2133.375 - 2134.297 Kyle

There's no way there's a dishwasher.

0

2134.317 - 2135.739 Will Gibb

Oh, dude, let's just get paper plates.

2136.68 - 2136.96 Kyle

Yeah.

2138.042 - 2139.483 Will Gibb

It's just full paper plates the whole time.

2139.524 - 2158.27 Unknown

No, no, no, not paper. Let's just get those reusable plastic ones so we can just clean them. Like what we have here in the studio. So just normal plates? No, no, sorry. I thought we had plastic plates in the studio. Let's just get reusable ones so we're not throwing out heaps of paper. Why doesn't it just get recycled anyway? Nah, because once you get food stains on shit, I'm pretty sure.

2158.57 - 2165.4 Unknown

Look, to be fair, I just said that because we're on the podcast. Hey, bro, what the fuck? I don't give a fuck. But I just want to look good.

Chapter 4: What lessons did Lani learn from Pat?

3064.164 - 3097.812 Unknown

Right. So do you know what I say to this agreement? What? I say, fuck yourself. Respectfully, fuck yourself. There's a lot of changes I want to make to this. Go. The first is this. 50% to the buyer, it'll be 80% to the buyer of all financial earnings. And you're lucky to even see a cent. The next thing I'm going to say, you've been very clever and I do give you props.

0

3097.792 - 3122.905 Unknown

for how cleverly you've worded these words, branding, goodwill, team identity, digital presence. You've also said you reasonably participate. That word, I don't like, in content initiatives, media appearances. Mate, we're not buying your fucking team to film fucking content with you. We're buying your team to win the fucking competition that you're a part of, right?

0

3122.885 - 3154.082 Unknown

So when we do buy it, we do have full control over the team. And Pat Clifton steps in as the official team coach. Pat is the coach of the team. He chooses not only the tactics of the team, but the players on the pitch. He makes all substitutions. He has full control. completely absolute autonomous control over the players and the team without question.

0

3154.783 - 3159.572 Unknown

He does all the substitutions and I will be his assistant and I will be there for vibe checking.

0

3160.133 - 3176.256 Will Gibb

And I won't be a dick. I'm not going to, I won't, I won't be, I'll be mindful. people are there to have fun, but I will draw a line where that fun ends. Yeah, of course. Right. If there's some fucking Darrow on the sideline, you can't catch a ball, mate. It's not under sixes. You're not just getting a turn. Yeah.

3176.557 - 3190.734 Unknown

The other thing I'm going to say is Kyle, and it's not in here and we're going to fucking put it in a contract. There will be compulsory one compulsory training session a week. which we can all agree on with the time.

3191.035 - 3194.08 Kyle

And if you miss your training- But you want to commit to that as well.

3194.1 - 3202.273 Unknown

Yes, I do. Because it's content. And if you miss the training session, you do not play that week. You don't play. You don't get to fuck about.

3202.293 - 3210.587 Will Gibb

And the other thing is I want to raise, when we buy that 2000, we need to discuss where that money's going.

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