Chapter 1: What are the 10 commandments for a campervan trip?
What's that? It's the sound of our camper van flying through the states, because let me tell you something, we're zooming and we're coming to you very shortly. Pat, where the hell are we going?
We're going to Gold Coast on the 10th of June, Coffs on the 12th, Newcastle on the 13th, Canberra on the 14th, 16th in Wollongong and the 24th in Sydney, but if you're not fucking quick enough, tickets are selling fast, so you might not be there.
Tickets are selling out, so by the time you hear this, you've got to jump online or else you're probably going to miss out.
I'm fucking sorry about a huge cough in your ears to start the podcast.
I'm not sorry. Here's another.
Shit. Imagine that. Do you reckon more people listen with earphones or without? Without.
I think 90% of people are driving. But what about cunts commuting to work and that? Oh, true. If you're commuting to work and you're in like a packed train right now and you're looking around, do you ever just start laughing? Because I assume we're pretty funny. And you just get all manic and shit. That'd be hilarious.
We're just laughing in public with earphones in. You look like a fucking dweeb, I think. But do it. Don't let it stop you.
Dweebs are good. Thanks for jumping onto the podcast, guys. It really means a lot. Let me start by saying, happy Anzac Day. Don't take the piss. I'm not taking the piss. Happy Anzac Day.
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Chapter 2: How did Will's ANZAC Day show turn into a nightmare?
Yeah, I was at a lot of talk. I didn't go to the dawn service. When did I say I was? But we'll first... Yeah, but you said a lot of... Don't take the piss. Yeah, you shouldn't take the piss. It's a day we remember. We celebrate.
We support. The least you could do is wake up a bit early.
I didn't go to the... Tiana went to the dawn service. I stayed home in case Lani woke up.
Good little excuse there. Great little excuse there to throw in.
Sure. If you want to call it that. Yeah. But Anzac Day, I love it. It's one of my favourite days of the year. Did you go to the Dawn Service, Kyle?
I did. Good man.
What one do you go to?
Bondi. Oh, that's a good one.
What one do you go to? I didn't go. There you go.
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Chapter 3: What did the spelling bee experience reveal about Will?
Yeah, like noodles and shit. I'm eating two-minute noodles from 7-Eleven. Fuck, guys, we're only eating 7-Eleven for the whole week. Ten days or some shit. Fucking hell. Okay, well, rule number six. Is there a washing, dishwashing machine?
No, fuck no.
Was that a crazy question? I don't think so.
There's no way there's a dishwasher.
Oh, dude, let's just get paper plates.
Yeah.
It's just full paper plates the whole time.
No, no, no, not paper. Let's just get those reusable plastic ones so we can just clean them. Like what we have here in the studio. So just normal plates? No, no, sorry. I thought we had plastic plates in the studio. Let's just get reusable ones so we're not throwing out heaps of paper. Why doesn't it just get recycled anyway? Nah, because once you get food stains on shit, I'm pretty sure.
Look, to be fair, I just said that because we're on the podcast. Hey, bro, what the fuck? I don't give a fuck. But I just want to look good.
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Chapter 4: What lessons did Lani learn from Pat?
Right. So do you know what I say to this agreement? What? I say, fuck yourself. Respectfully, fuck yourself. There's a lot of changes I want to make to this. Go. The first is this. 50% to the buyer, it'll be 80% to the buyer of all financial earnings. And you're lucky to even see a cent. The next thing I'm going to say, you've been very clever and I do give you props.
for how cleverly you've worded these words, branding, goodwill, team identity, digital presence. You've also said you reasonably participate. That word, I don't like, in content initiatives, media appearances. Mate, we're not buying your fucking team to film fucking content with you. We're buying your team to win the fucking competition that you're a part of, right?
So when we do buy it, we do have full control over the team. And Pat Clifton steps in as the official team coach. Pat is the coach of the team. He chooses not only the tactics of the team, but the players on the pitch. He makes all substitutions. He has full control. completely absolute autonomous control over the players and the team without question.
He does all the substitutions and I will be his assistant and I will be there for vibe checking.
And I won't be a dick. I'm not going to, I won't, I won't be, I'll be mindful. people are there to have fun, but I will draw a line where that fun ends. Yeah, of course. Right. If there's some fucking Darrow on the sideline, you can't catch a ball, mate. It's not under sixes. You're not just getting a turn. Yeah.
The other thing I'm going to say is Kyle, and it's not in here and we're going to fucking put it in a contract. There will be compulsory one compulsory training session a week. which we can all agree on with the time.
And if you miss your training- But you want to commit to that as well.
Yes, I do. Because it's content. And if you miss the training session, you do not play that week. You don't play. You don't get to fuck about.
And the other thing is I want to raise, when we buy that 2000, we need to discuss where that money's going.
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