Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Episodes
122: Yes, People Can Be Total Jerks Sometimes
05 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Whether you're worried about your children, your friends, or your extended family giving you a hard time about your relationship that started as an ...
121: How Good Can You Stand It?
29 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Discover how to allow yourself to want things, and that it's safe to allow yourself to enjoy what you want. Even if you and your affair partner are bo...
120: Managing Your Worries
22 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If there is something in your life that you want to address, like an infidelity situation, worry is usually the first thing that comes to mind. In...
119: Explaining How a Relationship Began
15 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you're concerned about how you might explain how your affair relationship began, tune in this week to discover why, even though there will be peo...
118: The Intimacy of a Breakup
08 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week to discover why the honesty and intensity of a breakup often reignites a sense of intimacy that seemed otherwise lost. Dr. Marie M...
117: Jealousy
01 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jealousy occurs within the context of any relationship. However, when you're shifting from an affair into a non-affair relationship, it's a particula...
116: Uniquely Difficult Situations in Life
24 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week as Dr. Marie Murphy shows you why, while you always get to decide what counts as a good reason to postpone taking any kind of acti...
115: From an Affair to a Non-Affair Relationship
17 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week to discover what you're trying to avoid by telling yourself you can't transition from an affair into a non-affair or "normal" rela...
114: Questioning Common Beliefs About Marriage
10 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week to start questioning the common beliefs about marriage that make so many infidelity situations so much more difficult to deal with...
113. Wanting Something and Not Having It Yet
03 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
By allowing yourself to want something or someone, contending with the experience of not getting what you want is inevitable. So, how do you deal with...
112. Being a Human Feels Terrible Sometimes
27 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week for a discussion on why being a human feels terrible sometimes. Dr. Marie Murphy is exploring why the traditionally prescribed int...
111. The Price of Convenience
20 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week to discover the price of living in convenience over taking uncomfortable action. Even when we know that making the effort to chang...
110. What Do You Owe Someone You've Cheated On?
13 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Let's say you're in a committed relationship and you've done something that counts as cheating, and your partner knows about it. There is indeed s...
109. You Don't HAVE to Make a Decision
06 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week to discover why it may be helpful to hold off on making a decision. Dr. Marie Murphy is diving into why pressuring yourself to imm...
108. Why Do People Cheat?
29 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Some people are very preoccupied, perhaps even obsessed, with the question of why people cheat. But is that a helpful question to ask? Dr. Marie Murp...
107. Is Monogamy (Un)Natural?
22 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week because Dr. Marie Murphy is unpacking the question, "Is monogamy natural or unnatural?" Marie is diving deep into what natural even...
106. Ask Yourself the Right Questions
15 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Maybe you want to leave your marriage, but you're not sure exactly why yet. Perhaps you think your marriage is something you should aspire to and va...
105. It May Be Time to Chuck Your Checklist
08 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week to discover why your attempts to systematically compare your relationships aren't helping you make a decision. Dr. Marie Murphy is s...
104. The Courage to Make Changes and Choices
01 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Despite what you may have told yourself, it's your human right to have desires and make choices in the service of what you want, regardless of whether...
103. Dealing with a Vindictive Affair Partner
25 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Pain and suffering may be inevitable parts of the human experience. But when we can learn to deal with our discomfort differently, we can eliminate un...
102. You Got Caught Cheating
18 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Tune in this week for some non-judgmental advice if you've been caught in the act of cheating, or been presented with irrefutable evidence of your che...
101. What Physical Pain Teaches Us About Emotional Pain
11 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Is emotional discomfort getting in the way of what you want most from your relationships? When faced with a situation that challenges your growth, it ...
100. The Point of Resolving Your Infidelity Situation
04 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you find yourself torn between wanting to resolve your relationship worries and being afraid of negative consequences? What is the best way to deal...
99. What Do You Expect Out of a Romantic Relationship?
28 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to romantic relationships, what are your expectations and intentions? How can you contribute to your relationship constructively to ensu...
98. Stop Telling Yourself These Three Things Right Now
21 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When confronted with grief, difficult situations, or relationship challenges, it's easy to convince ourselves of uncertainty or confusion to avoid mak...
97. Re-Engaging in a Relationship After an Affair, Part 2
14 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Why do you want to re-engage in your primary relationship? How can you intentionally generate excitement and a deep passion with your primary partner?...
96. When You Leave Your Marriage but Your Affair Partner Doesn't
07 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When presented with the prospect of dismantling their lives by ending their marriage, people may become dismayed. What happens when your affair partne...
95. Dealing With a Needy Affair Partner
30 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when your affair partner becomes needy of your attention and affection? How can you handle the feelings of discomfort and uncertainty whe...
94. Is It Cheating if Your Spouse Has Alzheimer's?
23 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's easy to feel exhausted when you're constantly at someone else's disposal. Society's biases toward a Martyr Complex can make it difficult to talk ...
93. Allowing Yourself To Want What You Want
16 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever found yourself staring your desires in the face, it can be challenging to ride the emotional waves that follow. Trying to suppress your...
92. Holding Our Desires Lightly With Katy Dion
09 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you struggle with competing desires in your relationship? Do you find yourself unable to reconcile those longings? Desire is a complex emotion that...
91. The Intensity of a New Affair
02 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Engaging in a new infidelity situation can carry intense and conflicting emotions. How can you handle the magnitude and mixture of your feelings? Is i...
90. Should I Go to Couple's Therapy?
26 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How can you find clarity about your thoughts surrounding couples therapy or counseling? If you already feel sure about ending your relationship, what ...
89. Does Having an Affair Doom Your Marriage to Failure?
19 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you've had an affair that's now ended, you may be worried about what this secret will mean for the future of your marriage. Does keeping your cheat...
88. When Bad Sh*t Happens
12 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you experience a major upheaval in your relationship, the disruption can feel like your world is crumbling down. How can you deal with this radical...
87. Relationships, Divorce, and Money With Jessie Susannah Karnatz
05 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Whether you have a large number of assets or are living paycheck to paycheck, breaking up with your partner can cause major financial resentment. So, ...
86. When your Affair Partner Ghosts You
28 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When you've formed a bond with your affair partner, it can be a grinding experience when that connection abruptly stops. So how can you overcome the p...
85. Past vs. Future Focus
21 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you feel like you're constantly pledging allegiance to your past? If you're stuck in the cycle of recycling and analyzing your past experiences, yo...
84. Making Plans for the Future With Your Affair Partner
14 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you aren't clear on how to move forward with your infidelity situation, what can you do to make a change? How can you make the right decisions for ...
83. Boundaries with Melissa Hite
07 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How does the way you understand and express boundaries affect your relationships? What does it look like when your needs are in alignment? And, can cr...
82. How to Cheat and Keep Your Sanity Intact
31 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When you're unclear on your desires, you may feel stuck or powerless in your situation. If you are trying to cheat and want your sanity to stay intact...
81. Conflict and Compatibility
24 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you're too focused on certain requirements or expectations with a partner, you may miss out on rich connections. So, what can you do to make a chan...
80. It's Not Your Partner's Job To Make You Happy
17 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you expect your relationship to be a constant source of happiness and joy? Do you find yourself feeling discontent with your partner — or thinkin...
79. Being Honest With Yourself
10 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you put your relationships with others above your relationship with yourself? Actively trying to suppress or deny your feelings or your truth can b...
78. Lying About Infidelity
03 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Are you faced with an ethical dilemma in your infidelity situation? When you're upset, it can be difficult to slow down and make a conscious decision ...
77. Infidelity, Shame, and Perfectionism
24 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Are you struggling with the idea of perfectionism and hustling to show your self-worth in your relationships? Is trying to meet the needs of others ho...
76. Regret
17 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you want to change your thoughts about your past but feel helpless about where to begin? Dwelling on the past won't change the future — but it is...
75. Perfectionism and Relationships
10 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Does your sense of self-worth depend upon other people's thoughts and beliefs? Is the desire for perfection holding you back from getting what you tru...
74. Dealing With Guilt and Shame
03 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Infidelity often brings forth feelings of guilt and shame, but it shouldn't lead you to believe you're a bad person. You don't have to convince yourse...
73. What To Say When You Break Up With Someone
27 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
No matter who your partner is or what kind of relationship you have, breaking up can be terrifying — even when you're the one initiating. So what sh...
72. Preparing for a Breakup
20 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How do you prepare yourself for the difficult emotions of ending your relationship? Deciding to end any relationship can be a tumultuous decision — ...
71. When You Love Your Partner And You Still Want To Cheat
13 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you want relief from your complicated feelings about monogamy? What can you do to get what you really want out of your monogamous relationship? Acc...
70. What Does It Mean To Be Selfish?
06 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What do you want other people to believe about you? And, do these opinions stop you from pursuing your true desires? The concept of selfishness may fe...
69. Making Changes In 2022
30 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How can you initiate change if you aren't getting what you want out of your infidelity situation? What can you do to create a difference in your patte...
68. Infidelity and Death
23 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you struggling to let go of your old self and transform into who you want to be? In order to change, you must surrender to what you want in your r...
67. Choosing To Leave A Good-Enough Marriage for Your Affair Partner
16 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Deciding to end your marriage for your affair partner can be complicated. It can leave you with feelings of discomfort and confusion about what you tr...
66. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Four: Dealing with Nostalgia and Confusion
09 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you feeling conflicted and confused about your infidelity situation this holiday season? How do you distinguish between taking action because of y...
65. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Three: Putting off Decisions
02 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you're having an affair and want to change the situation, how can you overcome the fear of finding the right time — especially during the holida...
64. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Two: Being the Other Person
25 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Is your current infidelity situation what do you want this holiday season? How do you find significance and clarity in what you want? According to Dr....
63. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part One
18 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you feeling pressure and guilt about your infidelity situation with the upcoming holidays? How do you find a sense of relief from the thoughts clo...
62. Making Difficult Decisions
11 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Does making a decision about your infidelity situation seem like an unfathomable problem? How can you make the best choice for yourself in the present...
61. Sex, Unhappiness, and Compromises in Marriage
04 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you wondering if you're compromising too much or not enough in your marriage? How do you know when you've crossed the threshold of unhappiness and...
60. Dealing with Other People's Feelings
28 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How are other people's feelings impacting your emotions and choices? What would happen if you started taking responsibility for your own feelings? Acc...
59. Is the Grass Always Greener?
21 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you questioning what you want out of your relationship? Society often hides the challenges of marriage, and many relationships don't work out. But...
58. Financial Fears, Divorce, and Infidelity
14 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When you imagine the worst-case scenario about a change in your finances, you may be ignoring the critical question: do you want to continue a romanti...
57. Re-Engaging in a Relationship After an Affair
07 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you considering re-engaging in a relationship after an affair but unsure where to start? Whether you want to reorient yourself with a partner afte...
56. Cutting off Contact With Your Affair Partner
30 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you trying to make changes to your infidelity situation, but are having difficulty dealing with the contradictions of your thoughts and desires? A...
55. Contemplating Leaving Your Marriage
23 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Does wanting to leave your marriage seem like an unsolvable problem? What do you do if the decision is unclear? It's completely normal to have concern...
54. Embracing Your Contradictions
16 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you feel stuck in a cycle of conflicting thoughts and emotions? Contradicting feelings can be draining, confusing, and overwhelming — but do they...
53. Divorce and Your Relationship with Your Kids with Abigail Wald
09 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Infidelity, separation, or divorce can have parents wondering if they're harming their children. As a parent, it's easy to feel overwhelmed — especi...
52. Dealing with Other People's Opinions, Part Three
02 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you seeking to free yourself from other people's thoughts about your infidelity? If you're having an affair, other people may cast a blanket of di...
51. Dealing with Other People's Opinions, Part Two
26 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What do you want people to believe about you? Other people's opinions can have a powerful impact on how you perceive yourself. Different people will h...
50. The Joys and Sorrows of Adultery with Mona Lisa
19 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's easy to feel encapsulated in an adultery bubble. With all the stigma around infidelity, where can you go to speak about the feelings you have? Is...
49. In Defense of "New Relationship Energy"
12 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
New relationships carry a special energy, often referred to as the "honeymoon period." But what happens after the excitement wears off? Is the relatio...
48. Forgiving Yourself
05 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you feel stuck in a loop of self-loathing? Are there moments in your past that you feel helpless to change, so you end up re-playing them over and ...
47. Being the "Other Person," Part Three
29 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Being the "other person" in an affair is complicated, to say the least. You fell in love with an amazing person, but are now stuck waiting for them to...
46. Dealing With Other People's Opinions, Part One
22 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
People have opinions about everything. However, when those opinions turn negative and become directed at you, it can feel extremely uncomfortable. Som...
45. Being the "Other Person," Part Two
15 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever been the "other person" in an affair, you're probably familiar with how challenging that role can be. And, it can feel even more compli...
44. Moving Beyond Blame with Karilyn Ivers
08 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Relationships can be tricky to navigate under normal circumstances, but if your partner struggles with addiction, you'll likely find yourself faced wi...
43. Being the "Other Person," Part One
01 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Being the "other person" in an affair can be exciting, but it also comes with its own unique challenges. You may sometimes feel like you're stuck or p...
42. The Mindset of Pleasure with Danielle Savory
24 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How does the way you think affect your sex life? What causes the excitement of a new relationship to fade? And, can changing your mindset create more ...
41. Clarifying What You Want in a Relationship
17 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you aren't getting what you want out of your relationship, what can you do to make a change? Couples therapy is one option, but it doesn't always w...
40. Blow Your House Down with Gina Frangello
10 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When everyday life is chaotic, difficult, or unfulfilling, affairs can offer an escape from reality. However, the deception of an affair isn't always ...
39. Healing from Heartbreak with Dorothy Johnson
03 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Heartbreak can be devastating. And, it's not just the loss of the relationship itself that is so painful — there are also messy feelings involved wi...
38. Sexuality, Religion, and Shame with Melissa Hite
27 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Unfortunately, sexuality and shame frequently go hand-in-hand, and religion's messages about sex may be partially to blame. Even if you aren't religio...
37. Discomfort, Drama, and Infidelity
20 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Wanting relief from uncomfortable feelings doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. In fact, it's a natural, human response. However, it's impor...
36. Good Enough Sex with Dr. Barry McCarthy
13 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What does it mean to have good sex? Has science uncovered the truth about what feeds desire? And, is there a way to redefine your understanding of sex...
35. Changes and Choices in Relationships with Yael Haklai-Neagu
06 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When a couple relocates for one person's job, it can be difficult to adjust to the new circumstances. Yael Haklai-Neagu, a licensed Marriage and Famil...
34. Mindfulness, Music, and Relationships with Dr. Richard Gold
29 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How can you lower your levels of anxiety, stress, and negativity? Is it possible to change how you feel by changing the way that you think? And, can y...
33. How to Deal with Missing Your Affair Partner
22 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Dealing with the loss of any relationship can be difficult, and the end of an affair is no different. However, because of the secretive and taboo natu...
32. Money and Your Relationships with Christine Luken
15 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Leaving a bad relationship can be scary when you don't have the resources to support yourself on your own. But, figuring out how to manage your financ...
31. A Happy Life in an Open Relationship with Susan Wenzel
08 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You should never try and fit yourself into a mold of someone else's preferences. But, deciding to go against societal norms can be challenging. So, ho...
30. Affair Recovery for Couples with Idit Sharoni
01 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Recovering from an affair is a difficult and emotional process. From dealing with shame to deciding whether or not to move forward, many couples aren'...
29. How to Have a Secret Affair
25 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Most people would agree that your partner can't fill every role in your life, but what happens when they're unwilling to explore your sexual desires? ...
28. When You're the One Who Cheats with Dr. Tammy Nelson
18 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Affairs can be intoxicating, but they can also leave you feeling confused and ashamed once the excitement wears off. So, why do people cheat, and what...
27. Recovering from Trauma in Relationships with Altagracia M. Felix
11 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Getting out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult, but the work doesn't end there—not if you truly want to revitalize and reinvent your ...
26. Having an Affair to Save a Marriage
04 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
All relationships change over time, but how often do you renegotiate the rules surrounding them? What happens when a long and happy marriage becomes s...
25. Financial Infidelity with Adam Kol
25 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Money is a taboo subject in any situation—but when it comes to relationships, talking about finances can feel downright impossible. With financial s...
24. All About Ashley Madison with Isabella Mise
18 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Why do people cheat, and how has the COVID-19 pandemic changed infidelity? Is it even possible to have an affair during a pandemic? And, is honesty al...
23. Deciding to End a Commitment
11 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What power do commitments hold over your life? Are they positive, negative, or something to fear? And, once you commit, do you feel like you have to s...