Bree & Clint's After Party: How late can you pull out of a dinner?
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Is it ever acceptable to cancel 40 minutes before a friend's dinner?
Evening, everybody.
Oh, my God, I already feel hungover.
Everybody in the club in tipsy. Caitlin's still here filling in for Bree. Question for the group. I guess it's an etiquette question. Ella's going to be shocking at this because you weren't here, but Ella said that it was okay to arrive to someone's house. If someone's having drinks at their house, it's okay. If they invite you over, it's okay to show up two hours late.
Two hours. Not this chat again. Girl. No. I'm like always. No, but I'm always late.
That's her frame of reference. No way. Well, you get to weigh in on this one, Ella. Caitlin's been invited to dinner at a friend's house tonight. Yeah. It's currently 20 past six. And what time is dinner?
Well, that's different.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry.
What time is dinner? Well, I said that I could be there by about seven.
By seven. Yeah. and you are thinking about pulling out. 40 minutes before the dinner.
It's not fine. Is it just you or is there other people?
Does arriving two hours late to a house drinks invite signal good etiquette?
No. If you cancel, is the whole thing off? Yeah. Oh.
Yeah, that's pretty bad. That's, yeah. The noise is really tight. They're cooking her dinner. They're cooking her dinner.
No, you can't cancel. I'm not going to. I'm going. I'm going. I thought it was a big, big friend group dinner and that would be all right. No, that's not okay either. Look, I just feel like I'm not the life of the party. Someone else, they'll be fine without me. I just, I love.
You said you would go.
I love making plans. I just hate going to them.
Same. Oh, my God. It's so hard. Oh, my God, Caitlin. Yes.
It's so hard.
Literally. I'm already panicking about a thing I've got on later.
She doesn't even want me there.
When is it reasonable to bail if the host is cooking for you?
Let's be realistic. Let's all just say to each other, hey, bitch.
Yeah, she would have loved you to pull out at 4 o'clock. But now, 40 minutes before, she's been slaving over this fucking beam carry or whatever you asked for.
I wanted to go at 4 o'clock. Now, I'm tired.
You might do that thing where beforehand you go, oh, I don't want to go. And then as soon as you get there, you're like, this is nice. It'll be fantastic.
No, I'm really excited to go.
Is it a long journey to get there?
I don't know.
Where is it? Well, you don't even live in the city, so it's a great opportunity to catch up with people too.
Yes, that's why I'm doing it.
Can feeling like 'not the life of the party' justify skipping plans?
I'm fucking tired. I want to go to bed.
Why are you so tired?
What have you been up to? I've got jet lag. Oh, yeah. From your four days of fatigue.
You slept for 13 hours two nights ago.
And I'm still allowed to be tired. On a regular day, Caitlin, what time do you get up in the morning? Well, I don't have a regular day, Claudia. I work shift work. On your off days, by choice, what time are you waking up? Probably like 8.30? Yeah. 8 o'clock? How do you feel about that, Clint?
She's a shift worker. You don't get a pass on this. Claudia's mad because I get mad at her because she gets out of bed at like 8 o'clock on a weekday.
That's okay. No, but she works in the afternoon. Of course she has to get up later.
Yeah, Clint.
Of course she has to get up later.
Yes. Because I get home and my wind down takes so long.
Yeah, absolutely. Look, this was not meant to be.
Just conversation. I'm always going to take the girl's side.
There's not meant to be a chance for you guys to have a go at me, okay? This is me having a go at Caitlin. But I'm always going to take. As your friend who has so kindly offered to make you dinner that you want to bail on, has she got kids? She's got two kids.
Oh, fuck, Caitlin. Hey, am I not allowed to be tired too just because I don't have kids? I just think it's ridiculous.
This is such a funny thing Caitlin said before she goes, I'm annoyed because I'm not allowed to be tired around mums. Sorry.
Yes, they work harder than me and I'm not allowed to... No, I do. I actually feel really bad.
Yeah, but just because they're maybe more tired doesn't mean you can't also be tired.
They also chose to have kids. They just won't understand why you're tired. We're not having this conversation. No, none of my friends have ever said to me, you're not allowed to be tired because you don't have kids.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
Is it ever acceptable to cancel 40 minutes before a friend's dinner?
0:05–1:07
2
Does arriving two hours late to a house drinks invite signal good etiquette?
1:07–1:43
3
When is it reasonable to bail if the host is cooking for you?
1:43–2:19
4
Can feeling like 'not the life of the party' justify skipping plans?
2:19–4:01
5
How does fatigue, jet lag or shift work affect attending social events?
4:01–6:30
6
Should having kids change expectations about being tired or cancelling plans?
6:30–8:20
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from ZM's Bree & Clint
ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 29th September 2026
Bree & Clint's After Party: Definitely not an announcement of our new producer
Stitching up Mumma Di with the 'guess what' trend
Catching up with Clint post-half marathon
ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 28th September 2026
Bree & Clint's After Party: Ex-Producer Ellie just can't stay away