Adam Lane Smith

Attachment theory has been around for 70, 75 years.

And it was outdated, so I had to do an update on it.

And I started building not just the types, but the subtypes.

And there's a subtype that has avoidance as the main, but it has an internal core of anxious attachment.

It's from a little bit more damage.

And we call it quiet disorganized.

Disorganized means the blend of the two, anxious and avoidant.

Quiet disorganized is the one we see with a freeze response.

We've got limbic system fight, flight, fawn, freeze.

And freeze response is your brain locking down, your vagus nerve tightens, you have a vagal dorsal shutdown, and Broca's area, the speech center of the brain, diminishes rapidly to almost zero.

It mutes you, you go selective mutism.

What your brain is doing is saying, I don't know how to solve this, and anything I do will make it worse.

Man, Sean, thank you for having me here.

That's awesome.

I love dating.

It's a horrible time to date.

That's an interesting question.

I think that dating has actually been invented in the last hundred years.

I think dating is one of the most inefficient systems for finding a mate or a partner.

I think we need to do away with dating.