Alison Rosen

Okay, so this University of Washington wildlife sciences professor and his team wore caveman masks when they captured and tagged crows on the campus.

And to this day, if they wear those masks, they are harassed by flocks of crows following their every step.

Yes.

Actually, it might because the U.S.

military heard of this research and contracted Mars Luft because they were considering the possibility of using crows to recognize missing soldiers or even bin Laden.

Back when that was an issue.

Yeah, they were saying you could replace the caveman mask with Osama masks and then harass or even kill crows with the mask on and then wait for word to spread throughout the entire crow community.

Here's the problem.

It's so, like, evil genius.

We are all a crow whisperer, evidently, if you have the right mask.

Yeah, if the crows don't get you, the rednecks will.

And you probably don't get any chicks because you're covered in bird poop.

Yeah.

And you don't seem heroic.

You have to get more chicks if it was like, stick your finger out, boom, a cockatiel is there.

Yeah.

Yeah, forget about... A ring.

A diamond ring.

I'm just saying.

No, they don't have great hearing.