Allison Holker
speaker
558 appearances
4 recordings
3 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Allison Holker’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And I am too, but I know it'll happen at the right time when I'm fully ready to embrace it, where I can accept my talents and my skills again, but not just to do it, but to also give back with it in the same way I used to. I've always said that I was a storyteller through dance, but I always told other people's stories through dance.
And I think my journey now through dance, it's just waiting for me to finally be able to dance this story. And so it's just waiting for the right moment and the right preparation and the right people to be around there and around me supporting that to bring it to life. And I know it will happen, but unfortunately it hasn't happened yet, but it will happen at the right moment. Yeah.
Do you know what song it will be too? I think it's actually going to be a collection of songs. In order for me to fully express this journey I've been through and this story that I have to tell, it's going to be a whole... It's gonna be a whole production and I'm excited about it, but it will be a lot of work ahead of me.
But I know it's an important one to tell and to share because though I have this book and I can share my story with my words, I know my powers and my movements and that still needs to be shared.
Yes, I know. It's going to take a lot of work for me not to have to be crying the whole way through it as well. Yeah. But I'm excited for that. And I know at the right time it will call to me.
I love that. Thank you for that. Because it is, everyone always wants to jump to the past. People tend to live in the present, but no one wants to look at who you are moving into. I am the best version of myself that I've ever been. I'm a stronger version of myself. I'm a happier version of myself.
And it's because I can honestly look back on my life and say that I have left it and lived it through integrity and honesty, authenticity. And I have carried my beautiful children with me, lifting them up, having honest conversations with them. still seeing the beauty of life no matter what is thrown my way. And I'm really proud of that. The person I am today, I'm proud of that I can...
honestly say that I just want to lift people up. I want to see people succeed. I want to lift myself up. I still romanticize about life. I still see the beauty. I can look at a tree and look at it with such eyes of like, oh gosh, this is such a majestic thing that's existing in front of me. And it's so beautiful. And I get to experience it. I can look at the
the littlest thing in the room, the biggest thing in the room, and still celebrate it. That's who I am. I am someone that still wants everyone around me to be the best versions of themselves. I don't wish harm on anyone. And to me, that's what life is, is just going out and experiencing and accepting. And if you can do that and be resilient, You've won. You've won.
And I just want to continue to do that and to teach that and preach that to other people. That what I am today is I'm happy and I'm settled and I'm content with whatever's thrown my way. And I know I'll be okay. That's who I am today.
I'm really proud of that. You know, there was definitely a moment where after the tragedy that I was really in doubt with myself of, will I ever like myself? Will I ever forgive myself? Can I ever forgive him? Could I ever get past this great loss and trust anyone again? Could I trust myself? Can I look at people and ever see the beauty again? I did.
There was like, I mean, it wasn't very long though. You know, there's a moment. There's a moment you feel really, really low. Can I ever be loved? Can I love? And then I quickly turned that around and said, no, that's not who I am. It's not what I've ever believed. And I'm not gonna let myself fall down that tunnel. I deserve love. I deserve life.
I deserve to still experience this with my children, and they more than anything deserve that. And I can't be an example telling anyone to pick up and wake up and go about a day and see the beauty in life if I'm not doing that myself. So I quickly turned the energy of victim mentality and woe is me. And I was like, I don't live this way. That's not who I am.
And I gave myself that permission to be fully embracing and accepting of life and love because that is what we're here to do. And that's what I want to preach. And that's what I want somebody to tell me. And that's what I'm going to tell someone else. And that's what I'm going to tell my own personal being to be. Every single day. And I have chose love.
And with giving myself that permission, it has found me again. And it's brighter. And it's more beautiful than I could have ever expected. And it's healthy. And it's shiny and wonderful. And it gets to be a beautiful thing that my kids get to share with me as well. And they get permission now to do that for them.
Well, even before I get to the tool. Yeah. I will say, and I know a lot of people are gonna have questions about why I say this and the way I say it. With Stephen's passing and the way he passed and how loud it was around the world, I had so much noise around my life while I was in my grief, in my darkest moments, crying, confused. Everything was so uncertain in my life.
Everything was taken from me. I had lost what I thought was the love of my life. My kids no longer had their father. I was so confused. I had no explanation. I had no closure. I had no idea why. I was having so many opinions thrown about me that it was my fault, that I must have seen something, that I must have missed something. That I must have been the cause, that my children, what happened?
How did they not see anything? There must be a hidden agenda. There must be this over here. There must be the Illuminati. I've had so many accusations thrown my way. And there was just so much noise everywhere. Questions, doubt in myself, doubt from family, doubt from friends everywhere. People I thought were the closest people to me turning their backs on me.
Some of the people I didn't know that would be there with me coming to be at my lead, to be at my side. It was so confusing and so overwhelming. And then there was a morning I woke up and I still believed in who I was. And with all the naysayers, with all the noise, with all everything that was being said about me, I still believed in me. And I never doubted that.
And I never lost out on my integrity. Because I never called out anyone else. I never said mean things about anyone else. I've never tried justifying anything for anyone. I've just stayed in my own heart, in my own head, and healed myself. And that's where this became my superpower. Because anyone could say anything about me that they want. And I know it will never change me and who I am.
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