Amber Rosolero

I'd been sat in someone's lap instead.

well the dream is really by the by because I then woke up and realised I'd actually for real shat the bed as a 34 year old ah like come on human imagine the embarrassment I had to wake my other half up and push him into the spare room so I could get the sheets off the bed clean what I could and have a shower and worry about oh my god listen there's no way he didn't smell a massive log in the bed

there's no way how do you listen I'm okay with pissing yourself how do you accidentally shit yourself maybe she was poorly in the bed emo

It's not all down to being poorly, okay?

And it's sick.

It's sick.

Maybe she thought it was a little toot and it just sprayed out.

Oh God.

Imagine shitting yourself on your own bed like this.

That's my worst job.

I cannot stand changing my sheets.

And if I shat the bed, particularly on a new sheet, I would be inconsolable.

I'd never forgive my own body.

No.

Because you have white sheets as well.

I only like a white sheet.

I don't like any other colour sheet.

And my poor kids, like they might see like a football player sheet and I'm like, you forget about that.

Back to the white section.

When one of them goes into the toilet, I keep my distance because I know what's coming next.