Amy Chapman
speaker
183 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Amy Chapman’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
You better clean your room. You're like, okay, mom. You know, it scares you a different way because then all of a sudden you're like, I have to listen. You're engaging me differently.
So it's both. And a pause. I mean, there's so much there. The number one thing to get somebody to hear you is to make sure they're listening. If I'm just yelling upstairs and they're doing something else, why are they going to listen? But if I go to my kid and I'm like, I have a kid named Mo. I'm like, Mo, you need to clean your room now. And he's like, okay, ma.
You know, like make sure they're listening. That goes with every TED Talk you're doing too. If you're talking to somebody and they're like, ah, bah, bah. But if you stop and you pause and you're like, it's going to get awkward. And then all of a sudden people are going to listen. And you're like, now we can go. Thank you. And you keep going.
You have to be careful what energy you're giving across because sometimes it's like, Right, right, right. You know, like when that happens. So it depends on what you're trying. But if you stop and you're like, thanks so much. Now, and you can like do it in a charming way that's just a little bit more approachable for people to be like, got it.
Because I always was animated. I was a performer. So I always had all that there. But then once I started working with other people and noticing it in them, you know, when you teach, you learn. And once I started teaching people, I was like, oh, I can do that too. And then I just became way more cognizant just noticing that in everybody else.
Yes. So I have a big part of my business is like CEOs, managers, people who come to me and they say, I need to communicate better with my employees, with whoever. If I'm giving a meeting, I need those people to listen to me, things like that. So I had one recently, and sometimes I have to figure out what they're asking for help. And they'll say, like, I need help with my voice, with my tone.
And I'm like, okay, let's dig deeper into that. And they don't have the language to necessarily say what it is. And so it was this guy. He was a CEO, and he got a lot of –
heat from his hr about his tone and i was like what like nasal are you like too annoying like what what do you mean and he was like well i read all these books he read the the negotiator book on like chris voss that's the one you know i have he was on this show i'm short
Like all the people that were on the show, like all the things that have, here's your tips and tricks for the best this and how to be the master negotiator and confident voice and work well with this. But sometimes it comes across a little robotic.
If you're like, I am just reading the book and I'm doing every single thing that they're saying, but I'm not actually communicating with a human, that they're just doing that. And once he started telling me, this is what I'm doing and this is how I talk to people and this is what is it. And I went, Is this how you talk to them too? Like that? He was like, yeah, of course.
And they listen and da-da-da-da. I'm like, okay, let's stop for a second. What's your goal? What's your objective with the people? Well, I want them to like me. Great. Great place to start. So when we're talking about tone, it's like you're yelling at me like a dad. Like, you're just telling me what to do. You're my coach. And like, some people don't need that. They need more of a mentor.
So if I were to change that objective and say, like, I want you to mentor me a little bit, how would you now talk to me about that? And so then he backed off a little bit. He was like... Okay, well, let's see how I can help you. I'm like, there. Do you see how you did that? How you just took it back from that like aggressive forward telling you what to do, but like, no, how can I help you?
Like we bring it in in a different way. So for him, I was like, the tone is not necessarily the problem. It's your objective. in what it is. And once you have that clear objective of how you want them to perceive you, then it goes a different route and you have a different voice to them. So you have to think about it in a different way. Take that a few steps back, right?
And the books are wonderful, by the way.
It's very sterile. And if we all read those books and we all do the things, we're all going to be a bunch of robots in this society who like shake hands a certain way and down talk the certain way and work our bodies. We're all going to be the same. Like we have to have... us, our humanity, and the way we communicate with people as well. That has to be a part of it.
It's taking a step back and getting first the objective. Everything has to zoom out a little bit. How do you want someone to perceive you? How do you want them to look at you? Respect, but also like... That you care. That you care. Yeah, I think that's it. Care is huge. And when you're caring for somebody, it's not like, okay, great, get this in by Monday. Right?
It's, hi, how are you? Take a moment. Even... I'm like you, I am busy. Sometimes I do not have time to ask somebody how they are.
So I would take the tone of that of like, how are you? How was your weekend? And I would add that tone to like the thing we need to get done. And sometimes you don't need the five minutes. It's a long foreplay. Yeah. Get straight to the main.
Let's go to the main meal.
Yeah.
Showing 121–140 of 183 · page 7 of 10
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