Amy Schumer
speaker
178 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard May 2025
Amy Schumer’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
Don't you like when someone's like, I guess I looked at Wikipedia and feels like a hero?
Well, I was like actress, but I got really into volleyball. And then I had a bad surfing accident. Oh. And so I was taken out for the season. And I don't know if I could have played D1, but I was definitely going to play in college.
Somewhere. But you couldn't play volleyball and do the plays.
Oh, God. I mean, I ran for... I believe I ran for president of student council as a freshman. That'll put a target on your back. Just to make a speech. But I could be getting it wrong. It might have been junior high. But I believe it was... I believe it was I believe it was high school. And I just I made a speech and it was all lies. I talked about growing up on a farm in Iowa.
I would you know, if there was a bake sale, I would bring in a ton of toast, you know, and like have a sign like toast. Like I just was an idiot and just like thought I was so funny.
I know I don't know I really think my parents lied to me so much and I just believed it and then when I found out they were lying I was too late and I had this like inner confidence and it was just too late it couldn't be shaken it couldn't wait are either of your parents funny yeah my dad they're both funny my dad's really funny my mom is like is funny cuckoo too in a good way
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they're both really funny. He's hilarious.
I was cool. Sorry. No, I was I was cool. Like things weren't like easy. I had major trauma and stuff when I was like 12, you know, which I'm totally happy to talk about.
Yeah. My dad got a mess and we went bankrupt like we had. money we were comfortable yeah and then we were like poor and my parents got a divorce and my mom started dating my friend's father like it was a whole nightmare and I you know I really I I really was traumatized and didn't think I was traumatized.
And then it was really hard, but I still had a boyfriend. I was still like making jokes and, you know, going out and popular and that kind of shit.
Where everyone's like... It was overnight from what I remember. It was like... I mean, we went from living in what I would consider a mansion... you know, by Real Housewives standards. Not decorated well or anything, but a big house with a pool and whatever to a, like, you know, maybe two-bedroom tiny home.
Or, like, we moved every year and we lived... We would live in someone's basement or someone's attic and that kind of stuff.
Well, it was like... I really feel like that part of it was all good. And so, you know, I can make fun of my mom and whatever, but I never, you know, I had, I always had like, this sounds bad, but I was going to say, we always like had somewhere to live. We always had food. I was never like embarrassed of my outfit and like, you know, because also my friends didn't have any money, which was nice.
Yeah. Like none of us were dressed well. None of us had a nice car or a car, you know, it was, so there was no like class distinction or anything. And I was just like, you know, wanted, I just, my mom says that I was embarrassed of our new house. Like that I asked the school about, like, I don't know, something where I was like, can you drop me off somewhere else?
I don't remember that, but I don't remember the loss of money being, Anything that I really felt. Just like the relocation.
I think it's just it's, you know, like trying to the revisionist history that each of my parents give. Like, I really can't tell what's true. Of course.
Yeah, you're right. It's really disorienting and destabilizing because you're just like, is any of what I was told true? I don't at all know. I don't feel like I know anything about my actual past.
yeah well I live really close to here and then I'll just like go home and like you know and I wanted to show off my feet are really a bummer right now you don't wear socks with shoes no I usually do I usually do what happened this morning I just I mean I just like came over here it took 13 minutes in a car you know so yeah so no socks do you do that often if it's like I'm just gonna be out for a little bit yeah
Well, how does that strike you? Like, is that... Are you, like, your feet are cold or... One feet cold. Is a nude foot, like... Do you not even have nail polish on there? No, look at my nails. Okay? Look at my... Look at, like... Okay?
we're in love i'm for the first time in love with someone um i've i realize i've never been in love before and um and and i was like conditioned to be like well i'm so happy for you Go, girl. You deserve happiness. I love you so much. Like, you know, just kind of, you know, brainwashed to worship your parent, your mom and and vilify my dad. And so I was just kind of like, I got you, you know.
Showing 61–80 of 178 · page 4 of 9
← Previous
Next →