Amy Schumer
speaker
178 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard May 2025
Amy Schumer’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Did you stay friends with that friend? We tried, but no. did they end up like living together ever like your mom and the guy like did it ever go viral they they were they they were together i think for like two months oh oh quick yeah like almost destroy like a family and then like you know i met someone new and like and now i really know what love is like 10 times God bless her. Love.
She is so self-aware. And we are in a good place. But, yeah. And you know what? And I really, like, judged her when I was 30 because I kept crazy journals. I read back from, you know, from 12 to 21, I kept these journals. And I'm like, oh, my God, this woman, you know. And then, but now that I'm a mom and...
Unless one of my son's friends has a dad that's at all even a little interested.
I handle emergencies and that kind of stuff. I stay very chill. Just know that everything you're asking me in my mind, I'm like,
now i feel attacked that's your favorite porn no no but i had a phase with that sure oh you did yeah sure what's your favorite porn uh well the thing is and i was hoping this would come up yeah i figured um i i feel like i can't say it because you know a lot of porn is like from real life situations that go awry
And then I'm getting a massage or I'm in a car or I'm whatever and I don't want like the driver or the, you know, I don't want them, you know, you have to live your real life. So, you know, I'll tell you later. Okay, yeah. You don't want anyone to get the right idea. Is podcast porn a thing? They should make that where it's like, you're like, and then all of a sudden.
I'm like, Amy, give me that foot. Give me your bare foot.
Right. Well, I didn't start saying until after college. I was 23. And I did not.
even think about the possibility of making a living from it but the first time i got a college gig and they were like we're paying you 800 for one hour and i ran oh my god around my apartment do it like laps around my apartment like it's like the best feeling i've ever felt i was like well will i feel this good if i ever have a baby um and as someone who's had a baby no no okay um
That's a gig. It was so far upstate. Colleges pay well. And it was so far upstate New York that it was like you flew into Canada and just no one else wanted to do it. So I got it. And...
yeah and then I was like oh my god if I can just make a living doing this that's all I want but then you know you you start you get there and you go what's next what's next what's next and so yeah and then like you know I really want to try and make a lot of money we after the roast of Charlie Sheen I'd like that was like you're obviously like a huge moment that was big on your Wikipedia at least that's what it reads and
Uh, but yeah, my, my friends. Yeah. But really like I wouldn't do that to an audience again. I wouldn't do a roast again. Why? I just was young and like, didn't realize that people's feelings really get hurt.
oh you know I mean that's so that sounds so stupid but it was like you know you and especially when you're starting out you just think okay these people are so famous I'm a completely unknown comedian who cares what I say but then you know like oh that probably really did hurt that person's feelings or something you think well I know it's hurt people's feelings but I also feel like there's been like a random rise again and like the Netflix specials are roast and people are roasting and people are like liking it like obviously we saw Nikki Glaser had like a huge moment because people were like oh my god like keep fucking roast
oh my god she killed no i love watching roasts and they're so funny i just don't like i couldn't do it because hard i don't i absolutely go for like the jugular bring a gun to a knife fight but also um
i don't know like i just feel and with the audience i wouldn't you know i used to be like if you're gonna like heckle me or something like you're gonna be handed your ass and and now i'm like it's just better to diffuse it yeah and and you know i think just from therapy and maybe becoming a mom you're like i kind of want like peace yeah like i i don't i will not feel better if i hurt you
But you're good at it. Good to know. It's in your arsenal. But hold on. With my husband, if we're talking shit about other people, like, you know. Of course. Every night. The worst people in the whole world. I wish I could, like, be a fly on the wall.
Oh, God. It's so, yeah. I mean, I think that's why we click so much.
Yeah.
I would say only every single day, all day, every moment of every single day, every day. yeah all day wow yeah okay yes yes it's so sad it is sad and i would love to say something different but the the only thing to do is be in the highest position of power and call the shots because the second you're in somebody else's you know um
was a ballroom I'm like I don't I don't know why are you in a ballroom but it's just if you're not at the and even when you are yeah at the top of the food chain it's still it's it's there's no relief and and I've and any woman that you think might have it different does not at all and at no point ever Yeah. There's like some Gloria Steinem quote. Oh, I love her.
Showing 81–100 of 178 · page 5 of 9
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