Andrew Schultz
speaker
214 appearances
4 recordings
4 series
first heard Sep 2024
last heard 20 May
Andrew Schultz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Because the pilot's too fucking drunk, now you gotta catch a fucking ride, get a rent a Camry, an old fucking Camry that smells like piss with balding tires and drive from fucking L.A.
to Reno with a fucking chain knife that you don't get mugged by a fucking motorcycle gang in the middle of the fucking desert.
And then you finally wind up 10 hours later at the Holiday Inn Express where you sit in a fucking chair to sleep because you don't want to get the bed bugs.
And then you come down in the morning for the free buffet that all the slobs in the hotel already coughed and sneezed on these old crusty fucking eggs.
And now you're in a liquor room that they converted into your fucking dressing room.
with mice running around, and then you go out and you give it your all for 15 fucking drunk people.
And if you're a girl comic, there's gonna be at least one guy going, show us your tits!
And then when you come back in the dressing room after you show, here comes the waitress going, I got your chicken fingers already.
And guess what we just got in?
The hock-tooey hot sauce!
So before you decide to do that, girls, why don't you just take yourself to the neighborhood laundromat, hop up on a warm fucking dryer, pull your legs all the way back, and queef to the Star Spangled Banner as you squirt like a super soaker into the face of some poor fucking guy folding his underwear.
Boom, superstardom.
In a month, you'll be sitting on the panel with Gil Tony right next to fucking Tony.
You've been a great crowd.
Enjoy the show.
God bless.
I agree.
Finally, Jared Nevins and Madison Square Garden, yapping some noise!
Ron bitch!
Ron bitch!
Showing 141–160 of 214 · page 8 of 11
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