Andrew Schultz
speaker
214 appearances
4 recordings
4 series
first heard Sep 2024
last heard 20 May
Andrew Schultz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 1.
Appearances
And her father's going, I want you to get a job at Starbucks.
And she's like, I make 75K a week on OnlyFans.
You got to work at fucking Starbucks, pop.
Do you understand?
This girl has every deal.
She's got a three-picture deal at Paramount, her own reality show.
She's got the Hoctooey hot sauce.
She's got her own, she sells more merch and her net worth is more than everybody on our fucking panel tonight.
But what bothers me about the whole thing is, what bothers me about the whole thing is, you know, it was too quick, the little, that's like a piece of paper you're spitting out of your mouth.
Let me tell you something.
When a girl could hock a loogie from across the room and hit the tip of your dick like a sniper,
when she could stand over you and drizzle her spit all over your cock and balls like it's a hot fudge sundae and then you choke fucking her as she's looking at you and the mascara's fucking falling and then with the and drooling like a fucking Saint Bernard with the spit dripping out of her mouth down her chin off your dick
balls, making your fucking wooden floors fucking bubble, then I say you deserve a movie deal.
And only then.
But this is the thing that I'm trying to get across.
Tonight,
Tony is going to pick some names out of a hat that might be in the back or some jerk sitting in the crowd out there.
But before you decide to be a road warrior, listen to me, take a little friendly advice from Dicey Dice, twice as nice.
Before you decide to catch all those flights around the country, the flights that are delayed, the flights where you sit on the tarmac for three hours in the middle seat next to some asshole.
with a backwards baseball cap and his laptop and his Spider-Man fucking backpack, and you got some seven-year-old behind you kicking your fucking sleep while you're trying to sleep, and three hours into waiting on the tarmac, they go, oh, the flight is canceled.
Showing 121–140 of 214 · page 7 of 11
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