Anita Shimmins
speaker
415 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2026
last heard 10 Jul
Anita Shimmins’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Maybe it's not right then and there.
Maybe you want to see if this plays out and again and again and again.
And if so, then it might become worthy of addressing.
But you're the best judge of whether that's something that you can absorb and neutralize internally or whether that needs to be addressed.
But it's common that sometimes intention and how it lands is not the same thing.
100%.
I think it's so nice how, you know, in a set of communication,
I'm looking after my needs.
I'm looking after your needs.
And, you know, happy days.
We can we can we can have, you know, much more of a harmonious relationship and connection if if both of us are respected and heard.
And so much more connected as well.
Yeah, it's that rupture and repair process.
And once you've repaired, it evolves your relationship or your connection.
The inner criticism that you have to endure day in, day out, that inner bully that's just living rent-free in your mind, it takes such a huge toll. So it's no joke, perfectionism. Yeah, it's harmful, not harmless. Hi, I'm Ashani Dante, and this is But Are You Happy?
Yeah, it's such a good question because we use perfectionism in everyday language as something that's actually quite good, you know, something that helps you achieve things. But from a psychological perspective, it's kind of a different thing. So healthy striving and striving for excellence is a great thing, right? Getting good achievements and high standards. Totally.
But perfectionism is more about when there's such a deep underlying fear of failure and not being good enough. So the motivation is completely different. It's about trying to not feel less than. And so there's a huge amount of pressure. So it's actually not a very positive thing internally at all.
my worth is very much tied to my performance. And so if my whole sense of worth and achievement and identity is attached to what I do, then I better do that perfectly because otherwise I'm a failure. And so, yeah, it becomes a strategy to deal with this underlying sense of
time and energy that's gone into what you can see on the outside. It might look effortless from the outside, but it was not getting there. But it can also finally look really different. So you can see people from the outside feel like they're not doing much at all. And they're sort of
maybe even seem lazy or they seem like they're, yeah, just not achieving much. But actually it's the same underlying mechanism. It's just that that fear is so paralyzing and the fear of trying and then not being enough is so scary that it's,
Showing 321–340 of 415 · page 17 of 21
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