Anna Runkle

The anxious attachment style, it springs up after a childhood of neglect, emotional neglect. And neglect isn't just psychological. You know, there are things that happen neurologically because of that that are pretty hard to control. So it's tricky to manage. So that activating that chasing instinct. Now, I noticed

The anxious attachment style, it springs up after a childhood of neglect, emotional neglect. And neglect isn't just psychological. You know, there are things that happen neurologically because of that that are pretty hard to control. So it's tricky to manage. So that activating that chasing instinct. Now, I noticed

When I got over my trauma-driven dating patterns, which is a formidable thing, I met my husband when I was 42. And I played things very differently. And what worked for me for the first time was I just let him kind of come after me. I was, you know, mentally, I was just like, you know, I wanted so bad to like go, are we going to see each other? Are you going to call me? Do you like me?

When I got over my trauma-driven dating patterns, which is a formidable thing, I met my husband when I was 42. And I played things very differently. And what worked for me for the first time was I just let him kind of come after me. I was, you know, mentally, I was just like, you know, I wanted so bad to like go, are we going to see each other? Are you going to call me? Do you like me?

When I got over my trauma-driven dating patterns, which is a formidable thing, I met my husband when I was 42. And I played things very differently. And what worked for me for the first time was I just let him kind of come after me. I was, you know, mentally, I was just like, you know, I wanted so bad to like go, are we going to see each other? Are you going to call me? Do you like me?

How do you feel? Where's all this going? But I just allowed him to sort of like do the work of that and it it was so powerful and I figured that out very quickly early in the relationship it pushed him off when I was chasing and he could come towards me when I stopped chasing and I think you know we've all heard this but for women today uh And men, men have their own version of it.

How do you feel? Where's all this going? But I just allowed him to sort of like do the work of that and it it was so powerful and I figured that out very quickly early in the relationship it pushed him off when I was chasing and he could come towards me when I stopped chasing and I think you know we've all heard this but for women today uh And men, men have their own version of it.

How do you feel? Where's all this going? But I just allowed him to sort of like do the work of that and it it was so powerful and I figured that out very quickly early in the relationship it pushed him off when I was chasing and he could come towards me when I stopped chasing and I think you know we've all heard this but for women today uh And men, men have their own version of it.

We want to believe, oh, that's not true. That's just some sort of old fashioned thing. But there's something in our brains that we do need to chase a little bit. It does activate something good. But like every good thing in a human being, there can be this sort of disordered side of it where there's a dark side to it, where it goes too far. And the chasing becomes stalking.

We want to believe, oh, that's not true. That's just some sort of old fashioned thing. But there's something in our brains that we do need to chase a little bit. It does activate something good. But like every good thing in a human being, there can be this sort of disordered side of it where there's a dark side to it, where it goes too far. And the chasing becomes stalking.

We want to believe, oh, that's not true. That's just some sort of old fashioned thing. But there's something in our brains that we do need to chase a little bit. It does activate something good. But like every good thing in a human being, there can be this sort of disordered side of it where there's a dark side to it, where it goes too far. And the chasing becomes stalking.

Yeah. A limerent.

Yeah. A limerent.

Yeah. A limerent.

They're occasionally elated and thrilled. They got a text or they caught a glimpse or they got a kind word. And then there's just a lot of depression in between. It's like getting a hit. It's getting a hit of heroin. It's like that, where it lifts you up and there's hope and you think, this is it. I think they're reciprocating.

They're occasionally elated and thrilled. They got a text or they caught a glimpse or they got a kind word. And then there's just a lot of depression in between. It's like getting a hit. It's getting a hit of heroin. It's like that, where it lifts you up and there's hope and you think, this is it. I think they're reciprocating.

They're occasionally elated and thrilled. They got a text or they caught a glimpse or they got a kind word. And then there's just a lot of depression in between. It's like getting a hit. It's getting a hit of heroin. It's like that, where it lifts you up and there's hope and you think, this is it. I think they're reciprocating.

And then they don't follow up and you can't really hold on to hope anymore. So there's this pursuit. I just want to get that little high, that little high of, I think maybe I'm going to get them to reveal that they feel the same way about me, but I'm going to do it without tipping my hand. I don't want to tell them because if I tell them and they don't feel that way, they won't be in my life.

And then they don't follow up and you can't really hold on to hope anymore. So there's this pursuit. I just want to get that little high, that little high of, I think maybe I'm going to get them to reveal that they feel the same way about me, but I'm going to do it without tipping my hand. I don't want to tell them because if I tell them and they don't feel that way, they won't be in my life.

And then they don't follow up and you can't really hold on to hope anymore. So there's this pursuit. I just want to get that little high, that little high of, I think maybe I'm going to get them to reveal that they feel the same way about me, but I'm going to do it without tipping my hand. I don't want to tell them because if I tell them and they don't feel that way, they won't be in my life.