Bertie Terrilliams

speaker

270 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 9 Jul

Bertie Terrilliams’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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No Such Thing As A Fish · No Such Thing As No Such Thing As A Crab · 9 Jul 2026 podcast

I think curing bad breath by sticking something up your bum is not a completely insane idea.

The theory being that lots of kind of gut issues are caused by sort of imbalance of different bacteria.

And so some bacteria that are meant to be in your large intestine

can end up in your small intestine and they produce different chemicals, some of which are hydrogen sulfide, which smells really bad and is the sort of farty smell in stink bombs.

And these stinky compounds get into your bloodstream and then they end up coming out in your bad breath.

But one of the ways of solving gut issues is using a fecal transplant, if you know anything about fecal transplants.

So they're to inoculate an ill person with healthy bacteria from somebody else's poo.

So sticking a dildo up your bum clean wouldn't do anything.

But if it was covered in a healthy person's shit, then you could cure your bad breath.

It's been cleaned.

Damn it.

So a used rectal dilator might help.

Interesting.

In an indirect way, because then that would solve your gut issues, which would then stop your bad breath issues.

Yeah.

You've written a book on them?

I have written a book on bums.

Yes, because they have to get B12 out of it.

But grass is really, really, really difficult to eat.

So rabbits eat it twice, whereas things like hippos and cows and stuff have multiple stomachs.

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