Billy Eichner
speaker
1,207 appearances
3 recordings
3 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard 28 Jun
Billy Eichner’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.
Appearances
I could never do it. I can barely go to Milwaukee.
They even have gifts that are far enough in advance to send a card. We're in 2025. The fact that there are still envelopes and stamps is ridiculous. Um, but I do love Christmas. I love the holidays. I was a Jewish kid in New York City. My parents let me and we were not religious at all. They had to beg me to get bar mitzvahed.
You know, I didn't even I told them I didn't believe in God when I was 11 years old. But like... I only got bar mitzvahed for the party, which had a Madonna slash Broadway theme. I love it. Because I couldn't decide, which I like more. That's a true story. But the one thing they wouldn't let me do because we were technically Jewish is have a Christmas tree and kind of do Christmas.
And so I completely fetishize it now as an adult. I go to the Radio City Christmas Spectacle. I went by myself a few years ago. I mean, that's scary. I'm a grown man, right? I love Christmas, but I'm not going to do cars just because logistically it's too much work.
I love a Christmas decoration. Because I'm doing so much press this year for Mufasa, I'm going to be traveling around. I don't think I can have a Christmas tree because I won't be here. And I'm actually legitimately sad about it. I think this year especially, people are so exhausted and stressed and tired. I love looking at a Christmas tree sparkling at night.
And I don't believe in anything that it represents religiously, but I like a tree with lights on it. And I like ornaments and presents. So if you want to put it up because it makes you feel better, do it. I mean, if people can celebrate Halloween and fucking September now. Yeah, that's the thing. Grown adults worrying about their Halloween costume on August 26th. Grow up.
Now people say, oh, it's September 1st. It's spooky season. I'm like, not if you have a brain and an education, okay? Spooky season starts in September. So if spooky season can start in September, Christmas can start early November, especially this year.
Had it. Had it. I fucking hate daylight savings time, okay? To the point where I recently did some research. I tried to Google why we have it, and I'll get into that in a second. But here's the thing. It's beautiful and all, but a little goes a long way with me when it comes to seeing the moon. I get a quick glimpse of it at 9.30 or 10 PM. That's fine. That's lovely.
I don't need to see your fucking moon ass at 3.30 in the afternoon. it's, it's depressing to me. Okay. I'm, and I'm someone who I'm not a morning person. My brain doesn't start to click on until like 1 PM. And so if the sun goes down at four, like it's, it's so depressing to me. It's like, I don't have a day, you know, it's crazy.
It makes me a little depressed, you know, and I like the twinkling lights at night, but again, I don't need it in the afternoon. The moon needs to stand down. Yeah.
stand down okay along with the proud boys and so um i i'm so and by the way now i will cop to something because this is what i mean by listening for listening no i'm kidding to our own biases and by the way i hope the moon is listening right now um the moon probably voted for like jill stein or some crazy shit by the way
But I will say, I kind of had heard through the grapevine that the reason we had daylight savings time was because farmers wanted it. So from the research that I did, that's not true. That's actually a myth. And it was about kind of making more time in the morning to make things more productive for people. And it was about energy conservation and all different kinds of things.
And it turns out farmers don't give a shit about daylight savings time. And I think they're just as inconvenienced by it as anyone else. So I do want to apologize to farmers, most of whom probably have always voted against my civil rights, for the assumptions I made about daylight savings time.
We're different. I love when the sun's out at like 8 p.m. I'm like, do we live in the Netherlands? Like, where are we right now?
Wow. This is the thing what I mean, like, growing up in New York gave me a strange perspective, because I'm such a night owl. You know, in New York on a Tuesday, you have dinner at 10pm, you know, like, it's just its own world. And so and I, I love I mean, I'm a night owl. I love nightlife. So it's not like I want more daylight for that reason. But I just...
not have, I know the sun going down is so depressing to me. Like, I just don't want it to be pitch black at four in the afternoon. But if it works for you guys, great. You know, everything I have to do is based around what people in Oklahoma want now. So the sun should be too.
Had it. I don't like eating on a first date. I'm single. I go on dates. I just think people I know this is like a very traditional thing. So the first thing is, oh, what do you want? What are you going to do on a first date? Let's go to eat. I don't want to watch someone eating like shoveling food in their mouth on a first date and having them watch me shoveling.
shovel food in my mouth and like I'm spitting and talking it's so not sexy to me like and I know that maybe people disagree with me but I just don't I don't want to see it like people like shoveling food in their mouth what's supposed to be like a sexy kind of like getting to know you vibe I don't know maybe it's just me I like just going for a drink you know I don't want to be like cutting lettuce like cutting like a
slab of meat and like eating a salad and like, but there's like cheese and I don't know, like Italian dressing. I just don't want to keep it like simple and chic and sexy on a first date. And if we like each other and we, we want to go out more than we can watch each other be disgusting while eating, you know, that's how I feel about it.
I was just going to say, I will blow a stranger with a knife. but I don't want to see you eating a Caesar salad with anchovies in front of me, like shoveling that with that smell. Okay. I will literally rim someone that I just met. Okay. But I don't want to see them pouring Parmesan cheese, extra Parmesan cheese on a salad on the first date. I think that's disgusting, but I will lick your asshole.
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