Cameron Esposito
speaker
119 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Cameron Esposito’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
These are all body hobbies. We could also talk about theology. That's something else we could talk about in a minute. We're going to. That's my other hobby. But yeah, I am trying to...
utilize my body as like a better vehicle for my spirit these days for a long time when I was using my body it would be like alone like I'm like I hike in the woods no one's there you know like that's oh interesting other people have to be around huh Well, I'm experimenting with other people being around. I did play team sports for a lot of years, but then after that, I don't know.
But then when, when Abby was continuing that trajectory, that was no longer a part of my life. I think I felt like I just didn't want anybody to look at me.
And nobody's looking at you, but I really felt like even if they terminate or scan past me, but don't register me, I don't even want that. Yeah. I really like using my body and I really like moving around. I've got a ton of energy. I have been challenging myself to be with other people.
I also will say to like be working on my strength a little bit more with these things as opposed to, um, limiting food intake because I have had a massive history of disordered eating and that can still rear its head where I think like that the solution is, um, eating less eating different types of foods that are super restrictive.
It's just a different way of, for me of like being in touch with my bod. Cause again, it's also not like, uh, three hours on a treadmill alone. It's sort of like what the class says we're doing.
You love it? I love it.
I'm like, Oh God. I mean, that's so interesting that you like, so this is a thing that I, when it was brought to my attention, it almost broke my brain. One thing that's true is I cry constantly. I cry all the time. I have a lot of emotions. I only found this out a couple of years ago because prior to that, I was allowing zero of them to exit my body. It's in your book that you didn't cry.
And so now you cry. I cry all the time. Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, thank you, my friend. All of your support on this. Yeah, I basically never cried one time until I was 35. Wow. And then, anyway, I cry constantly. My spouse, Katie, is a very gentle person. Calming energy. Correct.
And well, one thing that will happen sometimes is that if she might hug me, if I don't even know I'm going to cry yet, this is true. Sometimes I'm laughing and I'm going to do a laugh to cry, but I don't know that's going to happen. But can... Katie knows that's going to happen and she'll do a little hug on me. And it's terrible because it's like, Oh no, now this is going to definitely happen.
And I can't believe you noticed. And then something I would say to her when she would do this is, was don't notice me. She like hugs me. I would go, don't notice me. But I would say it frequently, but I didn't even realize I was saying it. And then she's a very noticing person. And so she mentioned this to me one time that I would say, don't notice me. And I was like, yeah, I mean, that's it.
That's it right there is like, I feel overnoticed in my life. I feel like for my whole life, I've been overnoticed about like being a little kid, people telling me I'm fat when I was like, also not fat, um, being a little kid and like my clothes are the wrong thing or getting served, but that feels dangerous because it feels scary.
And I don't know, when's this person going to find out they've made a mistake and have they made a mistake and, you know, all of this. And so I just feel overnoticed. And I think that's, again, when you think about something like standup, it's like, okay, fine. You want to see like, but you have to pay. Yeah. And I get to be in charge and I can kick you out. That's right.
Like, it's like, it's a, and it's not a conversation because you don't get to talk back.
Yeah, exactly. It's a monologue. Yes. Your part in this is laughing, which is like actually a submissive. posture in the primate kingdom. So I will, you want, if you want to notice me come right in here, I will control and dominate you for an hour and it will be like wizardry and also kind of spiritual and you can go home.
Okay. No, I love this. I'm just thinking about how I've never, never one time. Well, I've been experimenting with this recently, but until about a month ago, never have, has a therapist ended a session with me. It's always like, I'm like looking at the clock and then I'm like, all right, well, I think it's time to wrap up.
Yeah. And the best way that I have found that out is that I now call people when I have something that I like to speak with them about or text them. That has created a situation where other people do that in my direction. Do you like it? And so I know it's not terrible. Oh, okay. And instead, I realize that it is someone trusting me. And it feels very, it's like an honor, you know?
When you call me or text me, I feel it is an honor. Yes. And you have also called and texted me. And so I don't, for me, when it's going out, vomit. I want to die. But because I've experimented with that and other people have done it back, I know how it actually feels to receive it, which is like, oh, it's like amazing.
Yeah.
I love this conversation so much. First, I want to say this because when you were saying hiding in plain sight, that is so, thank you for giving me that language. That's so beautiful. And it's like, Yes.
Showing 61–80 of 119 · page 4 of 6
← Previous
Next →