Cameron Esposito
speaker
119 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Cameron Esposito’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I have recently been realizing it's like, I created like a little avatar, like a little fighter, like in the video game of life, I created like a little fighter who wears motorcycle jacket and holds a microphone to kind of go out in front of me. Like there's the real me. And then there's like this little, there's this it's a dis, it's a dissociative, like protection of my little self.
And it's actually very sweet thinking about like taking care of myself like that, especially at a young age, but then still now, like where there's somebody being like, I got you actually like you hang out back there. I got this one. And then that high haired standup comic goes out ahead into the world and takes care of my more tender self. Very sweet. It is.
I am hoping that other people know that. I'm hoping you two know that little soft guy. And I think you do. For a long time, I was hoping you wouldn't. Anyway, don't notice me. Yeah, don't notice me. But anyway, yeah, I was raised Catholic and I loved it. My sisters were raised Catholic, couldn't give two shits. I loved it. I thought that Jesus Christ had some cool stuff to say.
And I thought that philosophically, going in the temple, flipping tables, I thought that was awesome. And I was really into a sort of leftist, socialist, revolutionary Jesus who also is accepted by certain communities, like the Jesuit community, for instance. So I went to Jesuit college, and that's what I thought I was getting into when I became a theology major was, was like,
We're going to like fuck some shit up.
Oh, no.
Exactly. Yeah. I started reading what the church had to say about women first. I like, even before I realized I was queer, I started reading what the church said about women, not the Bible, like the teaching, the stamped teaching that comes from The Pope and his friends. And I was like, oh, this is nothing that I agree with. And then also the spotlight papers were happening at that same time.
I lived in Boston. That's when the Catholic Church sex abuse scandal was really being talked about for the first time. And I was just like, none of this. And I left like I like left hard. I was truly like, I believe in all this. And then the next day I was like, actually, just as a correction to myself, none of it. I believe in none of it. And I'll leave it here.
And then that's how I operated for a long time. However, stand-up, as I've been saying, has always been spiritual for me. There's a feeling when I'm performing that I am actually connected to the audience, like physically connected through breath. We're all regulating our heartbeats. Mm-hmm. together in a room like that.
One time I was performing at a show and I felt like, this is in the book, but I was like, we're trees. We're all trees connected through a root system. And then afterwards, after the show, I hadn't said this on stage, Reggie Watts, who's the band leader for the James Corden show, was like, hey man, I liked that set, but what I love the best is how you were all trees connected through the earth.
He said that and I hadn't spoken about it. So my point is something spiritual is happening. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. But In the pandemic, when everybody was baking bread, what I was doing was reaching out to like eight different master's level theology programs, looking at their course descriptions, writing to specific professors and being like, can I take your classes?
Because I'm thinking about a career change. Maybe I'd like to be like a non-Catholic professor. priest. Almost all of these professors said yes, because when a standup comic says, I'd like to take your, I think that they were just genuinely curious. Yes, of course. What are you talking about? Sure.
So I took all these classes and one of the most impactful for me, I took them at a bunch of different institutions on a bunch of different topics. And I, One of them was at my college, at Boston College, where when they called me, they used to call me and say, do you want to donate to the school? And very early, I said, I will donate to Boston College when...
you apologize for the way that you treated me and the other queer students that went there and continue to go there. And they never called me again.
But I went back to BC because the head of the theology department when I was a student there, who is somebody I really loved and was close to, was teaching a class called literally just forgiveness. And so I wrote to him and I was like, hey, I don't know if you remember me. I was your student 20 years ago. Can I take this class? And he was like, I just was listening to you on NPR.
I followed your career. I like think you're awesome and please come take the class. And I did take it and we're still in touch and are now good friends. And I will say that like, it didn't bring me back into a place of being like the church rules. But what it did do is help me realize that like, these are all just people. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that is a terrible thing to do to a young person.
Yes, it is. But like as an adult going back, I think I just got to see that these are people who are doing the best and sometimes somebody's best is pretty bad. And it's a bummer for someone to not have the experience and exposure to be able to like really live. the word that they say that they're living. That sucks for them. For them. What a huge bummer for that person.
Definitely. I think that for me, I was consumed by hatred. So, I mean, congrats to those people, places, and things that I hated because they got so much of my time and energy. Yes. That's such a win for them. This is an evolving thing for me. I don't think I've hit some finish line here, but it is that thing of like, what is forgiveness? Is it like, I send you on your way sweetly?
Or is it just like, Oh, you're wrong. Oh, well, you know, like, is it, is it like forgiveness? Maybe really lightness.
I think this is right. I can't even remember where I found this. I was really in this deep dive on forgiveness. This is like what I was spending a lot of my pandemic on is like, what is, I was so angry at so many people, places and things. And I was like, forgiveness, this is what I need to spend my energy on.
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