Caroline Foran

And I'm like, what you're told to do is just to spend the 50 minutes it takes, whatever.

But he'd go all night.

So with a PDA child, really, it's like taking the demands away, making life easier for them as much as possible, reducing the friction so that they don't constantly go into this activated state.

So it means that I just put shoes and socks on for him because it's just easier for all of us.

We don't have these big fights and battles.

Yeah, just like doing things for himself.

Okay.

Like, no, you get it.

No, you get it.

So like a lot of PDA parents are constantly bringing stuff to their kid.

Like he could reach it and I'll say, no, it's right there.

You get it.

But me saying you get it, threat, demand, no, you get it.

Whereas if I say, if he says to me, oh, I'm thirsty.

And I say, yeah, your drink's there.

Yeah.

he'll be more likely to get it.

And that's another thing that I'm learning is switching over to this declarative language model, which is how you speak matters so much.

Instead of saying, how was your day today?

Which I don't think any kid can really handle.