Cecil Baldwin
speaker
912 appearances
6 recordings
1 series
first heard Aug 2026
last heard 15 Sep
Cecil Baldwin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 6 in all, peaking in Aug 2026 with 4.
Appearances
In the coming weeks, we can expect an increase in earthquakes, natural gas emissions, and rising temperatures from the mountain where the stock market is located.
The trees and plant life in the immediate vicinity will die off as magma breaks through layers of solid rock and finds its way onto the trading floor.
Price fluctuations and executive leadership shakeups may occur as lava courses through the market, burying whatever gets in its way, vaporizing mutual funds and IPOs with extreme heat and devastating physical force.
Now is a good time to check in with your financial advisor about what this may mean for your portfolio.
But traditional wisdom dictates that it's better to hold on to what you have despite clear and repeated warning signs than to endure the short-term discomfort of making a change.
Now, the community calendar.
On Sunday, it's Disco Never Died Night at the Roller Rink.
Put on your best starched lame petticoats and sequined beaver skin trapper hats as pipe organist Gus plays his rendition of Gloria Gaynor's Straight Outta Bethlehem for three hours.
Then it's time to boogie-oogie-oogie with a funky feast of warm gelatin fondue in the snack shack.
You'll burn, baby, burn, when the whole place gets lit on fire at the end of the night.
Monday, everything is half off at the Ralph's.
Particularly, filled milk jugs, bisected bagels, asparagus with no tips.
Everything, literally, cut in half.
Same great price.
Is it only Wednesday?
You'll ask yourself on Wednesday.
Even though it's just three days in, you're already exhausted.
Crawl under the covers until Friday.
Don't answer the phone.
Don't talk to anyone.
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