Charles Duhigg

speaker

203 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 28 Jul

Charles Duhigg’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Life Kit · How to have better conversations · 28 Jul 2026 podcast

But actually, every discussion is made up of multiple different kinds of conversations.

And in particular, those conversations tend to fall into one of three buckets.

There's practical conversations where we're solving problems or we're making plans.

There's emotional discussions where I might share how I'm feeling and I don't want you to solve my problem.

I want you to listen and empathize.

And then there's social conversations where we're talking about how we see each other in the context of society and other people see us.

And they said, look, when you were coming home, you were having an emotional conversation.

You wanted to talk about how you feel.

And your wife responded with a practical conversation.

And both of those conversations are totally valid.

But because you were having different conversations at the same moment, you couldn't really hear each other.

And so the answer is what you mentioned, the matching principle.

That once we figure out what kind of conversation is occurring...

That if I match you or I invite you to match me, that's where we really are able to hear each other.

There's one tactic in particular that's really helpful in figuring out what kind of a conversation is happening.

What is this other person doing?

want and need and what do I want out of this discussion?

There's certain kinds of questions that are special.

These are known as deep questions.

To figure out what everyone wants from a conversation, you should ask deep questions.

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