Charles Yu

And if he did use the bathroom, they'll definitely have his DNA because 99% of Starbucks bathroom users somehow missed the toilet. But that's not the only major crime story today. We also have crime in the skies.

And if he did use the bathroom, they'll definitely have his DNA because 99% of Starbucks bathroom users somehow missed the toilet. But that's not the only major crime story today. We also have crime in the skies.

Okay, first of all, that's not what a stowaway is, okay? A stowaway has to hug the wheel or hang onto the wing like Tom Cruise. If you're just inside the plane without a seat, you're not a stowaway. You're just losing at musical chairs, okay? And if security's so lax, hey, maybe I should have just left that bottle of shampoo in my backpack instead of trying to smuggle it up my ass. I mean...

Okay, first of all, that's not what a stowaway is, okay? A stowaway has to hug the wheel or hang onto the wing like Tom Cruise. If you're just inside the plane without a seat, you're not a stowaway. You're just losing at musical chairs, okay? And if security's so lax, hey, maybe I should have just left that bottle of shampoo in my backpack instead of trying to smuggle it up my ass. I mean...

Am I crazy? Like, how did she do this? Airport security is so complicated now. Like, they have ropes and the dogs and the machines and people and the scanner that, like, takes your naked photo and posts it on the internet. Like, what kind of secret agent acrobatics did she have to do to get past all of that?

Am I crazy? Like, how did she do this? Airport security is so complicated now. Like, they have ropes and the dogs and the machines and people and the scanner that, like, takes your naked photo and posts it on the internet. Like, what kind of secret agent acrobatics did she have to do to get past all of that?

Oh, that's it? That's it. We give TSA $10 billion a year and all they got was her water. TSA is like, hey, we literally don't care who you are or what you plan on doing, just do not stay hydrated. For more on this story, let's go live to the airport with Grace Kuhlensmith. Grace. Grace. Grace, how did this woman evade airport security?

Oh, that's it? That's it. We give TSA $10 billion a year and all they got was her water. TSA is like, hey, we literally don't care who you are or what you plan on doing, just do not stay hydrated. For more on this story, let's go live to the airport with Grace Kuhlensmith. Grace. Grace. Grace, how did this woman evade airport security?

Okay, what the hell? Grace, we sent you down there to interview the TSA. Why are you under arrest?

Okay, what the hell? Grace, we sent you down there to interview the TSA. Why are you under arrest?

Okay, Grace, it's not your job to get arrested sneaking through a flight crew lane.

Okay, Grace, it's not your job to get arrested sneaking through a flight crew lane.

Okay, but you didn't have a boarding pass.

Okay, but you didn't have a boarding pass.

Okay. But you didn't have a seat.

Okay. But you didn't have a seat.

Okay, wait. Wait, so once you got on the plane, that's how they got you?

Okay, wait. Wait, so once you got on the plane, that's how they got you?

Okay, Grace, do you have anything to report on at all?

Okay, Grace, do you have anything to report on at all?