Chris Distefano

They don't fucking beat you over the head, Spanish restaurants. Not our chief. I could take our whole family on a party at 10, and they usually order for the table. Her mom's great. She orders for the table. They know how to, like... You know, really like everybody eats well and they order big things. So I'm only paying a couple hundred bucks for a party of 10. It's not bad.

I would assume her mom's probably pretty fire in the kitchen. Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. It's literally unbelievable. I remember for a while my stepson wasn't eating meat. Like he just he didn't want to eat meat, something with animals, whatever. And so he would come out, you know, when she would come over and like watch the kids, she would slip meat into his rice and he would have no idea.

I would assume her mom's probably pretty fire in the kitchen. Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. It's literally unbelievable. I remember for a while my stepson wasn't eating meat. Like he just he didn't want to eat meat, something with animals, whatever. And so he would come out, you know, when she would come over and like watch the kids, she would slip meat into his rice and he would have no idea.

I would assume her mom's probably pretty fire in the kitchen. Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. It's literally unbelievable. I remember for a while my stepson wasn't eating meat. Like he just he didn't want to eat meat, something with animals, whatever. And so he would come out, you know, when she would come over and like watch the kids, she would slip meat into his rice and he would have no idea.

I was like, you know, like literally you're like breaking like a moral practice. She was like, he needs to get protein. He ain't wrong. Yeah.

I was like, you know, like literally you're like breaking like a moral practice. She was like, he needs to get protein. He ain't wrong. Yeah.

I was like, you know, like literally you're like breaking like a moral practice. She was like, he needs to get protein. He ain't wrong. Yeah.

There's always something simmering. Really? When her mom's there, yeah. Get the fuck out of here. There's always cooking. And what it is, too, you know what it is about her, too? Her mom's very old school. And it's just like a generational thing. It's just because, like, I'm the man and I'm, you know, yes, I work. I mean, we do comedy. Fucking running around. She'll always, I walk in. I do comedy.

There's always something simmering. Really? When her mom's there, yeah. Get the fuck out of here. There's always cooking. And what it is, too, you know what it is about her, too? Her mom's very old school. And it's just like a generational thing. It's just because, like, I'm the man and I'm, you know, yes, I work. I mean, we do comedy. Fucking running around. She'll always, I walk in. I do comedy.

There's always something simmering. Really? When her mom's there, yeah. Get the fuck out of here. There's always cooking. And what it is, too, you know what it is about her, too? Her mom's very old school. And it's just like a generational thing. It's just because, like, I'm the man and I'm, you know, yes, I work. I mean, we do comedy. Fucking running around. She'll always, I walk in. I do comedy.

I walk in, she'll say, oh, hi, sweetie. I'll say hi, and she goes... Every time, she goes, there's a plate for you in the oven. She puts the plate in the oven, and it's just there. There's, like, warm food for me. Doesn't matter how hungry I am. If she's awake and in there, she's, oh, I put a plate for you in the oven. Or in the microwave. It's there. It's my heaven. It's what it is.

I walk in, she'll say, oh, hi, sweetie. I'll say hi, and she goes... Every time, she goes, there's a plate for you in the oven. She puts the plate in the oven, and it's just there. There's, like, warm food for me. Doesn't matter how hungry I am. If she's awake and in there, she's, oh, I put a plate for you in the oven. Or in the microwave. It's there. It's my heaven. It's what it is.

I walk in, she'll say, oh, hi, sweetie. I'll say hi, and she goes... Every time, she goes, there's a plate for you in the oven. She puts the plate in the oven, and it's just there. There's, like, warm food for me. Doesn't matter how hungry I am. If she's awake and in there, she's, oh, I put a plate for you in the oven. Or in the microwave. It's there. It's my heaven. It's what it is.

Get free tickets to the Maurice show.

Get free tickets to the Maurice show.

Get free tickets to the Maurice show.

Not only that, and then they wanted her and tell him what they wanted.

Not only that, and then they wanted her and tell him what they wanted.

Not only that, and then they wanted her and tell him what they wanted.

Ashtray.