Christian Rudder
speaker
149 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Christian Rudder’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And I know we're not talking exactly about love here, but you can't know everything about that. And like the data and therefore like the algorithms that are sort of grinding it all up. Like, they just ultimately don't know you as well as you know yourself.
Just looking back on where the world is now and where it was in 2015 when I left OkCupid, like, we actually had a kind of, like, machine learning program to try to improve our algorithm and try to find people even more perfect matches that we actually ended up shutting down because we felt like in our tests, like...
no matter how much work we put into improving the algorithm, like the ultimate arbiter was always the person who was going on the date or sending the message or whatever. And we stopped trying to guess what was going to make people into pebbles or to use your metaphor, like,
Because people change so much and there's so many weird things about people like how they laugh or the way they carry themselves or like a look in their eye that you just can't get to through a computer, at least yet. And so, yeah, we just kind of, we always tried to be aware of what we couldn't know, I guess, if that makes sense.
And I know I'm kind of ranging from your initial question, but like I do think it's interesting what people go and do in these sort of bite-sized units of like just clicking on someone and yeah, guys click on 20-year-olds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're hotter, I guess. And women don't do that.
I mean, if I were to start a new dating app like today, you would have to use some kind of AI. But again, I don't think I would try to make the perfect match, have ChatGPT figure out exactly the right person for me in the world. Because I just think that's like a losing game. Yeah. I mean, we've all been set up by friends that think, oh my God, Jenny's perfect for you. You got to meet her.
And you sit down and you're just like, ugh, or whatever. Or maybe she hates you. Who knows? I think the AI component would be better served where the app can have a conversation with you to get to know you better so that it can let you control more of your own experience rather than making the algorithm stronger. I guess it makes your voice in the algorithm stronger. Does that make sense?
That's what I'd like to see happen. Because I think... Kind of getting back to what we were saying a second ago, with the Tinders and Bumbles of the world, the algorithm is all-powerful. It's just like, to use your potato chip example, if you think of Tinders like an infinite can of Pringles, you're just taking one off the top and you sit and just eat it.
Right, exactly. And it just does all the work. It's the silo, right? But I think if you can make the algorithm... make you, your voice and your thoughts and what you really want more subtle and more powerful within the mix of how it's showing you people. I think that would be really cool. Almost like a life coach. Like if people could put up with that, I think it'd be pretty cool.
Tech and dating. I mean, I do doubt, probably like most people that have used these apps, whether it's healthy to have that infinite can or just know that if I don't like this person or choose not to talk to this person in front of me, well, there's always somebody else. And you can just go through.
That, I definitely can admit, that might not be healthy psychologically over the 10 years of doing that or something, right? It'd be very hard to settle down with someone if... At least theoretically, there's always a possibility that there's someone better. I also doubt there's going to be a significant improvement in... an algorithm that's going to be better than people's personal tastes.
As you guys all know, there's just style and all different kinds of things about a person that you just can't reduce and hopefully never can reduce to some radio buttons or whatever it is on a phone.
The one thing I like and I'm proud of even still, I mean, 10 years of distance between me and working in the industry is like, I love that dating apps, even for all their flaws and as frustrated as people get with them now,
they're trying to create something in the real world, you know, like Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, the goal of all of those things always, it's just to get you to use TikTok more, right? Or to eventually to make more money or whatever. Yeah. Like, yeah, keep you digital. Thank you. Twitter wants to keep your, or X wants to keep you there, right?
Arguing with someone if that's how it goes, but whatever. Um, Whereas Tinder, even the shallowest possible experience, the goal isn't, they don't want you, the people sitting in the office working on the app, they don't want you to sit there and just swipe infinitely. That doesn't really get them anywhere either.
They want you to go out and find someone that you like, you know, and you go home with them or have a relationship with them or whatever it is. And I love that about it. Like, I think that's something that I'm proud of, that it's created confidence. you know, a lot of frustration and a lot of, like, heartbreak and a lot of, I'm sure, very douchey behavior out there in the world.
But it's also created families and couples and all of these things. And, like, obviously, I'm not saying any of these things are perfect. They're frustrating. And people have always hated dating and being single. And people have always hated dating apps. They hated OKCupid at the time. We used to, like, the complaints would just, like, pile up, you know?
Just like they hate Tinder or they hate Bumble now, you know? It's like that's a common permanent thread, I think, of the thing. But... It's cool that it does create something actual, real in the world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
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