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Christopher Titus

đŸ‘€ Speaker
359 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Minimum wage gilded cage segment or chapter in my book. That's what I'm talking about. We've taken a bunch of these guys. We've given them juice. And now they're in charge. They got the keys to the castle. And you can fuck yourself, Alec Baldwin. And that's a lot of what's going on. Now, on the other hand, you shouldn't be a douchebag if you're Baldwin. If she tells you to shut your phone, you should shut your phone.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

HÀn sanoi, ettÀ ÀlÀ mennÀ ylös ja mennÀ kylmÀÀn, ÀlÀ mennÀ ylös ja mennÀ kylmÀÀn. Mutta tiedÀt, ettÀ hÀnellÀ oli ensimmÀinen tilaisuus. Ja tiedÀt, ettÀ he olivat ylöspÀin pitkÀllÀ aikavÀlillÀ. Ja tiedÀt, ettÀ se ei tehty mitÀÀn eroa, kuten minun menemisen. Kun minÀ menen tilaisuuteeni 78 kilometriÀ yli porssissa, se ei tehty mitÀÀn eroa. Joten kuka on rikollinen? On lakia, on lakia, mutta missÀ on rikollinen?

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Brace yourself against that desk. That is a very good point. Essentially my point. But it's a great example of my point. Yes, the people that came up with it, earned it, fought for it, and studied to get it there. It's the difference between rich guy with a business degree who started his own business from nothing and lottery winner.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

All right, well, look out Baldwin.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

No, tiedÀn, mutta meillÀ on toisilla tarjoajilla sitÀ. Sanoisin vain, ettÀ tutustu, joku miettii, ja tÀssÀ on se, mitÀ minÀ tekevÀn, kun olen valmistautunut. MinÀ vain tekevÀn, minÀ tekevÀn sen niin kuin minÀ tekevÀn suomea yliopistossa. Kuka on tÀrkeÀ? Sitten minÀ siten sinun takana ja kopioin. MitÀ uskot, ettÀ Erlanti tekee?

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

You want to model yourself after Germany? What do you think the Netherlands do? What's Japan do? I'm not interested in what Mexico's up to. I'm not interested in a donkey wandering in a circle with an unmarked package duct taped to its ass. It's a carrier donkey. I want to know what the fuck they're doing in Japan.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

That'll be our answer. Because if they have not shrunk their post office in the last 50 years, then maybe that isn't the answer. But I'll bet you Japan has something going, they're doing something.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

PidÀ kaikkien idea, se on minun asia, löytÀ A-opiskelijaa, asuta heidÀn takanaan ja heittoa. Haluan tietÀÀ, mitÀ Japani tekee puolustusopimuksessa. Ja Ruotsi, ei siksi, ettÀ olen iso fani heidÀn poliitikkojensa, mutta he pysyvÀt reitin menemÀÀn aika hyvin siellÀ. TiedÀt, mitÀ sanon? MinÀ tiedÀn. He eivÀt ole suurta aikaa haastajia.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Minun tÀytyy sanoa, ettÀ tÀmÀ on tÀydellinen aika puhua Stamps.comista. Oh, Aceman. Hieno vaihtoehto. Onnistunut. Jep, viikko tulee nopeasti. Hienoa. Haluatko mennÀ Stamps.comiin? KyllÀ, miksi jÀttÀisit talon? Miksi jÀttÀisit pohjalta? Oletko ollut pohjalta, jossa menit? Voi, tÀmÀ on kiva. Ei. TÀmÀ on kiva. Ei.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

I might just come here to kill time. I don't care if I have parcels or not. No, you don't want to hang out at the post office. All right, how about Japan privatized the postal service in 2007? Well, this is shocking. I was not ready for this. Oh, wait a minute. This is what I expected. Keenly critical strikes again. Keenly.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

So it's been almost five years since they privatized the postal service. And I'm sure it's an utter disaster. If I know Japan, this is not working out at all. I'm sure they bungled it. All right, then we'll find out what Germany does. Find out that. We'll get our answers. Again, our president should just be ripping off ideas from other cultures and other places. And by the way, also looking at other things like ethnic cleansing and going...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Not so much. There's some takeaways. I'm going to use the world and their cultures and the countries to know not only what I do want to do, but what I don't want to do. And I'll just let them be little petri dishes, have the little experiments, and we'll do it that way. I know regions are different. I know cultures are different. But just, you know, if they've got a rail system that seems like it's working, maybe we'll use that. Said it a million times.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

When I was out in England, out at night, ten years ago, just walking out, doing a nice little pub crawl, they had these weird shaped urinals that three dudes just parked right on the sidewalk. Three dudes could put their back. You didn't go in and close a door. You just could turn your back to society and take a whiz. Now everyone goes, well, that seems weird. Well, it's that or go piss by the dumpster.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Because that's pretty much how it works. And England decided they didn't like all the smell coming from the dumpster. Now, Los Angeles, every stairwell and every parking structure reeks of urine. Because we didn't embrace that idea. I don't understand why we're not smart enough to look at something like that and go, oh, there's a good one.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Well, why don't we use that? Like beer or underwear in vending machines. I think Japan has that. Yes, exactly right. All right, Bobby Collins is out there. We'll take a quick break. What's going on with Germany? Any postal news on Germany? We're looking. Extemporaneously. What's up with Germany? We'll talk to comedian Bobby Collins next.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Back with veteran comedian Bobby Collins. Good to see you, Bobby. A pleasure, a pleasure. Bobby's got himself a DVD, Tellin' It Like It Is, available at bobbycollins.com. Also live shows coming up December 16th, 17th at Pachanga Casino in Temecula. I think I was out there a few months back. Just the 16th, I'm not doing the 17th.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Okei, vÀlttÀmÀttÀ 17-vuotiaat. TÀmÀ on 16-vuotiaat. EhkÀ minÀ teen 17-vuotiaat. PitÀisit. bobbycollins.com, jossa löydÀt tietoja. Twitterata hÀnet bobbycollins. Bobby, sanotaan, jÀi positiivisuuteen vp Calvin Kleinin kanssa, jotta hÀn pysyisi komediin. Onko se totta? KyllÀ. MinÀ olin New York Survivor-kysyjÀ, ja nÀin, ettÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin, ettÀ nÀin. MinÀ nÀin,

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

32 vuotta sitten. 32 vuotta sitten. Kuinka iso on Calvin Klein nyt ja kuinka iso he olivat silloin? He alkoivat tulla isoja silloin, koska me olimme juniortavisiota ja tarvitsimme tykkÀystÀ, koska me olimme vain junioreita. KyllÀ. Ja meillÀ oli tÀmÀ Brookshilja. Ei mitÀÀn voi tulla yhdessÀ sinulta ja me juuri sattuimme siellÀ ja otimme lukioita.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

You could buy a pair, your jeans you're wearing now is the same jeans in the same company that makes them at a, that Costco will have. Right. But because it's Calvin Klein, we, you know, it was $39. It was really kind of creepy, those, seeing a 14-year-old Brooke Shields or 15-year-old Brooke Shields doing her weird sort of tantric yoga position or whatever, talking about nothing coming between her and her cows. I mean, it was...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Se oli hienoa, eikö niin? HÀn oli yliopistossa, eikö niin? KyllÀ, hÀnen isÀnsÀ oli todella... Se oli vain markkinointipalvelu. MÀÀrÀt olivat pysyvÀt. Niin se oli. Ja sitten he menivÀt kiinni yliopistossa. Kuka olisi tuntenut, ettÀ he olisivat myöskin myöskin myöskin myöskin myöskin myöskin myöskin myöskin myöskin?