Corey Heider

Right.

And they're freaking out, bro.

And I come to and I'm like, Brandon, because that's my boy I came with.

That's the first thing I Brandon, Brandon and my 14 year old friend.

He can't even look at me, bro.

He's like, he's dying.

I can't look at my homie like that cousin.

Right.

Because what I didn't know is there is a pool of blood puddling around my waist.

well that's i know that now but at the time they just thought my inner organs busted like a water balloon and was leaking out of the closest hole i could find which just happened to be my asshole yeah so everyone's like man dead man walking you know what i mean they're like bro don't move don't move so long story short they sent me to the hospital they they well they said we're gonna have to catheterize you and i was like listen i'm christian my grandma would not like that

we can't be doing that i don't know what medically if that will help but i just don't they're like no we're gonna stick a tube in your dick i was like can i be catholic is that still on the table i will be catholic if that's still on the table and they're like no we just got a bam so bro yeah the point and i was the crazy part yeah like she was starting a goddamn lawnmower dude bro she's like hold up hold up hold up okay oh hit the choke hold up bang boy i was like damn

ah give you nothing for the dude it sucked the bed sheet up my ass bro it had so much fucking momentum bro it was insane how long was the recovery uh way too long so i was 14 it just this happened 10 days before summer vacation and brian gunlingson if you're still out there i appreciate you i'm sorry i fucked up all your work that was my um

leg specialist so he rebuilt it tibia fibula clean through because my leg wrapped around her a-pillar like a snap bracelet so it had dusted everything that was connecting so they pin and plated it all back together he did a wonderful job but i was a 315 pound fucking 14 year old that was not taking no on summer vacation and i started walking on that and if you look to this day bro i have the arthritis of a 90 year old man you'll see me

bro get if we ever go somewhere in a car for six hours watch how i get out make fun of me where you can't live stream it brother brother i make all the noises old people noise yeah that's fair and my favorite hobby is driving cars that are slammed to the ground and i'm like this is yeah i literally it's like that fucking leonardo getting out of the on wolf of wall street i just lay down and fucking crawl out yeah dude sick car i know no big deal

Well, it's the only ones that are cool.

I don't like trucks.

That'd probably be a whole other issue.

I'd have to get a fucking ladder.

your slam load to the ground uh yeah the miata literally my miata has stayed are you talking about my asshole because i've done that no i'm talking about the car okay i've hit road debris that i felt my ass 100% fuck 100% like you because it's you're right brother cousin you're right there you hit like a bushing that fell off a fucking old truck and that floor panel like it don't touch you yeah but you feel the floor yeah it's like it's like if you put a fucking trash can lid on your ass and i hit it with a hammer that's true that was a close one

Because I planned for that.