Dalia Feldheim
speaker
76 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Dalia Feldheim’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Instead of saying, I'm sorry, you won't talk to me like that. I'm going to leave now and come back when you're ready to talk to me. Or no, I'm not leaving, right? So, you know, this is what I work today with women. Sometimes we are...
you know, dare to lead like a girl is being in empathy, of course, but sometimes you need to kind of step into your positive masculine, which is your assertive, you know, Muhammad Ali says, float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, right? So that's kind of one thing that I learned that yes, You should be bringing empathy into the workplace. It's a huge advantage of women versus men.
And it's in high demand. The world is crashing because of lack of empathy. We see it all around. We see it in research. University students that finish, they did research and found that their empathy level is 40% lower than university students 30 years ago. It's insane. Wow. That is insane.
And it's enough to see how teenagers, you have a 15 year old, I have a 19 and a 18 year old and, you know, just closing off with a girlfriend over text. He never did that, but his friend did. I told him, if you ever do that, you, you know, you have the tough conversation and they, and they don't have the tough conversations and they don't have the live conversations.
And we're seeing that in the workplace and we're losing empathy, you know, around, I don't want to get into, you know, what we're seeing some of the, other dimensions in the US and around the world. But when I talk back about the corporate world, the way we've been leading until now is crashing. It's not working.
The more masculine command and control, especially when teams are virtual, it's just failing. 85% of employees are unengaged in the workplace. 20% are toxic. They hate their work and they're determined to make everyone else suffer as well. One in four experience work-related anxiety. So we're seeing, you know, the corporate world is questioned and the reality with the great resignation is there.
And, you know, there was research that just came out to try and understand the great resignation. And they found, interestingly, they expected, you know, the reasons to be, you know, pay or burnout. And they found the number one driver of the great resignation was toxic environments. So there you go. Wow.
Exactly. And I keep on saying, like, if it happens to my kids, stay six months. Okay. You know, because I think if I would have left immediately, you know, try to change things. Sometimes, you know, I did have challenging bosses in the past. And I was actually, one of them told me, you're the only one that gave me direct feedback.
I kind of had a reputation of managing an app really well because I'm direct, because I really care, right? And I heard of one strategy, by the way, you would love it. I heard of one strategy that really worked when a lady came into a toxic boss and she actually dealt with it head on. She said, listen, this is what I hear about you. I don't believe it's true, but that's your equity.
And I'm here determined to help you change that. And it worked for her. And the two of them partnered. So I am saying, you know, if the boss is ready to change, right? That can be an amazing experience. So give it a try, but you need to really give it six months maximum. Because if you're asked to change beyond your values, beyond who you are, and that's what I felt. I was like suffocated.
I, you know, I was asked to leave my heart and my art in the doorway, right? That's wrong. That's when you can't bring your full self to the workplace, you're not in the right place for you. And that's something I hope I realized earlier. But I guess, you know, going through that is why I'm here today, why I wrote the book, why I'm trying to help, you know, other leaders.
A lot of it is lack of awareness. A lot of it is skill because we can't teach ourselves to become more resilient. We can teach ourselves to be happier. Actually, you know, in the book, I have this whole model and worksheets on each one on them. And it has been proven that you can teach yourself to be happier. So I think that's an important part of growth, that when it's really toxic,
And you are asked to change beyond your value. That is when it's zero tolerance and very fast. You let things going on. Ah, it's okay. You become a frog in boiling water. And when I interviewed for my research, 10 of the people I researched out of 15 talked about being a frog in boiling water, the same sentence. So there's something about that, right? You need to be careful.
You need to react fast. If it doesn't make you feel comfortable, it's wrong. And that's it. You need to stop it in the bud.
OK, so the first one, as I mentioned, is focus on your strengths. If you're in a workplace where you are not able to bring your strengths to work every single day, you're not in the right place. And we know that. We know people that operate from strengths are two times more likely to succeed. And yes, we also know that only 17% of managers said they bring to life their strengths every day.
So that would be the number one. If you only remember one thing from today, it's operate from strengths. You know, that's where you find your passion for your work. The second is really having a growth mindset. Having a growth mindset is asking for directions, okay? Is learning to fail or failing to learn. Failing is good. It's okay. It builds resilience, okay? So don't carry it as a badge.
It doesn't mean you're a failure. It just means you failed some specific skill that you still need to acquire. So the more you can develop a growth mindset, the more you can grow. The third element, and really an important one, especially for women, is self-care. And I talk about, you know, the physical dimension, right? Taking time to breathe, taking time to eat properly.
We have more neurons in our gut than anywhere else. Taking time to sleep, recover, digitally detox. Okay, this is a big one these days. Working from home is insane when we don't shut off. And Boston Group Consulting did this amazing research where they forced employees to take an afternoon a week of digital detox and they saw productivity go up by 74%. Wow.
Exactly. And I'm actually working with a company here that are working on creating an automatic like shutdown of the email between 6 p.m. and 9. So you can write if you want, but it won't get sent to anyone. So anyway, digitally detoxing is really important. The fourth dimension and probably the most important.
OK, and if you want to remember one other important thing from today, do you know what the number one driver of happiness at work is? Any guesses? People, the people around you. Okay, the quality of our life is the quality of our relationship. And also at work, they did research and do you have a best friend at work? Or do you have best friends at work?
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