Dan Shepard (host; introduced as Dan Shepard—the Armchair Anonymous host)

I was going to maybe guess that without offending you, but this makes total sense.

Okay, great.

Well, I doubt you're that much older than me, so I bet I'll get most of them.

So hit us with the babysitting story.

Where did you grow up?

I tell this to everyone from London, Ontario.

So I grew up in the 80s in Detroit.

And once a year we would take a road trip to Toronto and we would always immediately get McDonald's in Windsor when we crossed the border.

And always around London, Ontario, we would finish our big McDonald's and just shove it out the window as everyone did in the 80s.

So I always apologize to anyone from London.

They probably got a bunch of our McDonald's trash.

You might as well not have anyone there.

You're only hiring him in hopes that in case there's a kidnapping, you could intervene, but no.

That's weirdly better than what I was going to guess.

The thing that seemed most logical to me is this boy who had not been introduced to you before he went to sleep.

He just wakes up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water and there's a fucking strange dude sleeping on the couch and his dad's nowhere to be found.

So he runs like I would get the hell out of the apartment.

Tom's nuts.

I mean, I would not hire you again.

I left some uppers for Jeff on my nightstand, which I'm sure he'll be going through.