Dave Trolley
speaker
801 appearances
13 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard May 2025
Dave Trolley’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
Make good with the fucking cheap. Make good with the weeds, you know?
What do you mean?
I've never not had my fucking wallet on me.
What the fuck are you doing? You were a passport guy for a while.
I was. I was a Social Security card guy for a while. I didn't have a valid photo ID for a long time. Yeah, no, I knew there was something. There was places you couldn't get in. I remember. For sure. And you go, I got this, and I got this. Fuck, he's got a paper Social Security card. Yeah. Like you're trying to open a fucking library account.
My license was expired and cracked, and it was taped together.
No, but I've said it. The bouncer sees, like, this guy needs a drink. He is down on his luck. I've said it many times on the pod that I was able to fly from LaGuardia Airport to Atlanta, Georgia, and back with just a Social Security card. And I think a credit card. It let me through. It's the time you got off at LaGuardia and walked home on the highway. Yeah. Good times.
Now I got Brooks Brothers.
Nice shacket. All right, let's see. This one's from Xander. Are you garbage if your dad buys an industrial toilet seat, the kind with the gap found in public restrooms for your home bathroom? I kind of like that. Can I ask you a question? It probably doesn't fit. Can I ask you a question about that? Please. So two things.
One, we have a bathroom in the lobby of our building, which nobody uses, and I use as if it is my powder room. I would do the same thing. I normally don't side with you. I fucking respect that. Because it's spotless all the time. I love a good, unused public restroom. There's nothing. Dude, I like them better than mine sometimes. Because you feel like you're like, I'm staying at the Ritz Carlton.
It feels nicer. It's tucked away. Nobody's ever there. And I mean, I've been in there for like a half an hour. Like if I get home at like 11 o'clock at night and I got to use the bathroom, I'm not going to go up there, get my balls broke. Shut the door and smell. I sit there. And also, too, there in my bathroom at the house, I'm up against the wall. Yeah, they're tighter.
Those are like... Dude, this thing, I'm fucking... I feel like the Fonz. I'm stretched out. Uh-huh. Take some calls. Plus, I never run out of toilet paper. Yeah, for days. I got a fucking... Got a fan going, probably. I got a magazine just... Some good fucking... Good paper towels to wash the hands... Dry the hands or whatever. It's nice. Yeah. Dude, I had to... I was... We were in...
We were in D.C. a couple weeks ago. What was that bar I told you I went to? Like Ye Olde Owl House or something like that? Ebbets? Ebbets. Something. Old House or something like that. Ebbets Backroom Deal Bar. Yeah, it's from like the fucking 1860s.
And the bathrooms are from 1856, dude. And I had an away game I had to do. You're going to make a doo-doo in there? Oh, man. Crab cake got you, huh? It was fucking. A little blue crab sneaking up on you. It was a crab cake like Benny. If you gentlemen will excuse me. The crab cake egg benny. Uh-huh. Whoa. What in Rome? Sure. Yeah. But it was also like. Look at you looking for the gout.
You in here? Extra hollandaise sauce. Don't get me started. But, man, this bathroom, smaller than a foam, and the door, it had those old doors with the wooden door, not even like a fucking metal door that clinks. And the floor was wet. And I was, there was no, I mean, it's right next to the White House. They weren't going to let me in. Taking a dump next to Mr. Peanut.
Oh, dude, it was fucking, people coming. It was one of those ones, I was bad. Loud, not loud. Wasn't the best aroma floating around. Sure. And no, like, there was, like, the door was probably, like, three feet. Like, it only just... It covered your knees. Like a cowboy bar? Yeah, if you stand up, it's, like, not even to my... It just covers your midsection. And, man, there's guys...
It's like someone's foot's right next to yours who's taking a pee. Like, it's tight. And I was like. Nice pair of loafers. I had to sit there for a minute or two and let the foot traffic clear out. You know what I mean? I was like, I'm going to be getting. Wait until the shift change. Yeah. Wait until the light to turn. It's like a line change in hockey.
Hey, you guys want to shut the fuck up and get out of here? It's bad. It was a tough one. I'm with you on that. The industrial toilet, I don't mind. I worry because my... How do I put this delicately? My equipment... Your wiener? My wiener sometimes is in perfect contact with that. It's like a baby's kiss. And I mean, like, the lips are fucking, they go perfectly right there.
And I've been in some, whatever's there. If I forget to wipe it, like, you know, because I'll wipe that off. I don't want my... No, no, no.
I put a piece of paper towel over the middle sometimes. Napkin? Really? Like putting the fucking napkin in your shirt? Well, it's either that or... Put a little lobster bib down there for a little guy? Sometimes, yeah. I'm not catching whatever that's got. Can you... Is that... Yeah. I would... I don't know if I ever told you.
Showing 701–720 of 801 · page 36 of 41
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