David Alan Grier

How to swim at the YMCA.

Learn how to swim, but never swim alone.

There's safety in numbers, don't strike out on your own.

And never dive unless you know the water's not too shallow and it's clear below.

Well, it's horrible, but the point is we're prisoners in our own home back then because my kid... What are you talking about?

Our kids are never going to learn any of these shitty theme songs because they're going to be on top of the universal remote with 500 other channels before the Pete Ellis Dodge theme song can come out.

No, they don't sing in school.

Wait a minute.

Did you know when we used to swim every summer, the thing that we were haunted by... We were swimming.

Anyways.

Yeah, you cramp up.

Yeah, yeah.

They would say to Whitey, you're going to Davy Jones' locker.

But they'd say, you're going to Davy Jones' locker.

That means you're going down to the deep end, like you never come back.

Did you guys, is there a black version, like Grace Jones' locker or something like that?

But I felt really bad.

You ever do the Teddy Pendergrass for her?

Oh, yeah, I do.

No, you couldn't do that.