David Zaslow

This may contain inaccuracies.

And when I say turtle shell, if I'm being legit, I may have misspoken.

I think it might have been tortoise shells, small tortoise shells.

Because turtle shells, turtles tend to be very small.

Some turtles are like this.

If you end up being right, no one's going to hold that against you.

Tortoises tend to be bigger.

You know, tortoises tend to be, you know, that size, you know, like helmet size.

Because when you're wearing a shell, a living shell, formerly living shell, on your head, it needs to be a certain size.

If you put a turtle shell on your head, it might look more like a yarmulke or something, you know.

Well, it is a size thing as well, of course.

There's actually a species called the giant tortoise.

I mean, why are we arguing?

I don't understand.

I mean, tortoises are bigger than turtles.

Does that mean that there's a tortoise living who's smaller than the biggest turtle?

I'm a grown-ass man who's not filthy rich.

I can't afford a Lamborghini.

Well, I probably can, but that's beside the point.

It was terrible last night against a bad offense.