Dawn Huebner
speaker
203 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jun 2018
last heard Jun 2018
Dawn Huebner’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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And maybe we can talk for a moment about what this loop is that's part of what feeds anxiety and keeps it going.
Yeah, so um anxiety always begins with a perception of danger and danger's really broadly defined.
So anything that seems like it could be problematic or uncomfortable or scary or hard or not go well is a danger.
And when you perceive danger, you then feel nervous or afraid and that makes total sense.
And so because you're feeling nervous or afraid, you begin to do things called safety behaviors.
And safety behaviors are a whole constellation of behaviors designed to help you feel less nervous and to protect you from the danger.
So safety behaviors are things like asking reassurance questions, washing your hands, not touching certain things, needing to be told something over and over again, avoiding, like those are all safety behaviors.
And safety behaviors make you feel better.
That's their purpose, to make you feel less anxious.
But they're problematic because they they prevent you from ever seeing that the thing that you thought was dangerous was not actually dangerous, that the whole thing was a false alarm.
And so when parents step into this, like they accommodate their children safety behaviors or they um accompany their child in doing the safety behaviors.
they're they're keeping their child or they're not doing anything to get their child out of that loop, that anxiety loop, where you feel nervous, you feel in danger, you do a safety behavior, you feel relieved, but you feel like you have to do that safety behavior then in order to stay safe.
Right.
Right.
Now it's not the case that parents can just refuse to do the safety behaviors or ignore their child's requests for reassurance because kids come unglued when we do that.
You know, that just seems mean.
So it's important for parents to have a different way of understanding what's happening.
It's not that they're withholding from their child.
It's that they're trying not to feed or empower worry.
So one of the things that's really important for both parents and children is to do something called externalizing anxiety.
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