Doug Stanhope

speaker

535 appearances 3 recordings 3 series first heard Jun 2024 last heard Feb 2025

Doug Stanhope’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Startup Ideas Podcast · 4 microSaaS ideas you can build to make $100k/month · 3 Feb 2025 podcast

This should be viral. How was the... When was this?

I don't like fun. Three, two, one, fire!

People say I like to travel, and they don't. They like to go to new places and meet new people. I don't like that. Do you like a 20-hour flight from Arizona? No, you hate that part. I love it. I take Xanax. I drink. I sleep like a kitten. You complain about the travel part. You want to go, oh, I want to see the cathedral. The cathedral. I want to just get out. I was in Donbass.

There is no better place to want to get the f*** out and travel. Then 11 hours on a train is beautiful. I'm going to watch this tonight. It's two parts, but the way you had to capitulate and cut out the baby dick sucking, I'm guessing it's a mole.

Yeah.

But for this, we put it out on Patreon uncut for a week, and then our guy that got us into the front lines, this was not a sanctioned fucking thing. This was not like, hey, would you like to come over and get a call from the New York Times reporter? Call. A fucking email.

And she goes, hey, I did a story on Ukraine stand-up comedy during the war, and every single one of them said that you are revered over there. Would you ever consider going over there? They weren't paying for it, but in passing, I didn't know I could go over there. I didn't know you could just go to war. I'm like, why didn't you tell me that earlier? I would have been there.

Louie was booked there the Friday it happened. That's right. He fucking canceled. I know. Because I've been talking to a couple guys over there that are fans since the most recent part of the war started. Because this has been going on since 2014. Jesus. And so... Yeah, so I go, yeah, I'll fucking go. So, hey, pack up the fucking shit. Wow. How are the crowds? We're flying coach.

Well, no, I just went to meet the comic.

Yeah, it was open mic. They set up a whole thing. You'll see it in the, they set him all up. Like the one comedian I know that I've been emailing with, he set it all up. He's great. Vasyl Baiduk. And he's well known over there too. And he set it up and he had this duo from Eurovision. They had the number one pop hit.

going on so he wouldn't tell people all the comics why they're coming to open mic you just you have to be there so they come out and they think oh this is the surprise that they're fucking gonna do their number one hit at the end of the right and then they introduce me and oh yeah fuck that's so yeah the language barrier like i was doing a couple of small fucking bits but yeah it's no no point and then but hung out all night a couple of times and

But then we got to the front because of that guy, and they said when they saw us firing that fucking hyacinth, we assume on the Russians. We don't know. Oh, my God. They just pulled this and put on your ear things. Jesus Christ. I assume they can drink over there. In Donbass, they said alcohol is more illegal than even cocaine. Come on.

Well, because they get fucking hammered. They're at fucking war, and they're huge underdogs.

So, yeah, I was drinking.

So they asked us, I guess it's hugely illegal, probably on an international level, to let civilians come over and just... fire the biggest gun in their artillery. Was it fun as hell to fire that thing? I didn't know I was going to do it.

I had brought... They do auctions, and this is what Vasil had told me, that most of the shows that they do are... They do auctions at the end to support the military. Like, financially, they're paying for that fucking missile that I fired, an artillery shell.

So, uh, when I knew there was doing auctions, I brought my mother's ashes, a vial of my mother's ashes, uh, because, uh, I couldn't sell those on eBay here. I tried to, I get the mother. I don't give a fuck. They're ashes. It's nothing. So I tried to sell them on eBay to benefit, uh, the, not the ASPCA, but humane society because mother was a cat lady. All right, that's a great place. And, uh,

within hours. It's fucking going up, up. I'm like, holy shit. And then that's shut down. Not only is it against eBay terms of service, it's against federal law to sell remains, which is bullshit.

Wet guts. So I brought over a vintage ashtray with mother's ashes in it to sell at auction, which is addressed in the podcast. So then when we went to the front lines, I still had Vasil said, save some. So they had me put fucking ashes into the artillery shell, which they let us fucking film that. They said, it doesn't even matter if I talk about firing the fucking thing.

They just can't show the actual me pulling the fucking trigger.

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