Dr. Becky Kennedy
speaker
3,434 appearances
7 recordings
6 series
first heard Feb 2024
last heard 18 Jun
Dr. Becky Kennedy’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.
Appearances
And so I think with the friendships and when you say, is this guilty? It's like, well, maybe my step and my action is just actually being honest with this person. I'm not very good at responding right away. I want to let you know I deeply care about our friendship. I'm not very good at responding to kind of small talk over text conversations.
And I just wanted to let you know that so you didn't misinterpret it. Like, I wonder what would happen. I wonder if people would kind of respond really positively.
Yeah.
You want the pilot to do their job. And again, in these, you know, I think I have so many pilot metaphors around sturdy leadership. And I think it really is such a metaphor for how we teach people the skills they need to parent. Because again, no one becomes a pilot overnight. No one becomes a CEO overnight. No one becomes a lawyer overnight or a professional basketball player.
You know, I think we actually laud CEOs these days who say, I don't know how to do leadership as well as I'd want to. I'm getting executive coach. You all want to work for them.
person right the amazing athletes in the world get amazing coaches and they go to amazing training camps because they're amazing right and so I just somehow with parenting it's like the last area where people think I should become an amazing parent overnight I shouldn't have to invest in skills or education even people who invest in skills and education for every other area of their life that they probably care about less there's so much shame we've internalized that we should be able to do it naturally
You become a parent overnight. You do. Yes.
That's still what it is. And they're like, what do you need? And they go, you need a car seat to leave the hospital, which, by the way, you definitely need. That's all? Like, just a car seat? Like, how am I supposed to manage this?
Because the thing I want parents to know, because there's just so much shame, and maybe we should talk about shame, right, is the only thing that comes naturally when it comes to parenting is how you were parented. That comes naturally. That lives in your bones. That lives in your circuits. And there might be some people who say, amazing, I have the greatest privilege in the world.
Then what will come naturally is exactly what I value and what I want to do. I would say more often people would say some version of definitely not what I want to do or parts I'll take, parts I want to do differently. And to me, it's kind of like if you were brought up speaking English and you really want to speak Mandarin or you want to speak Mandarin half the time to your kid.
And someone said, are you going to learn Mandarin naturally? I feel like someone would say, how does one learn Mandarin naturally? You would, I don't know, you'd probably sign up for, you know, Duolingo. You'd find an app or something or a course. And you'd then practice and practice. And you'd be able to make progress because you actually learned something new.
And so I just think big picture, like parents are, they're so under equipped and set up to feel, and this is I think has to do with shame, that when my kids are struggling or when I'm yelling a lot, it means something is wrong with me or something is wrong with my kid.
I feel like these days in almost every area, if a CEO is saying, I feel like I'm struggling, is it my fault or my employee's fault? They probably say, I don't know. There's probably people around. Who can help me? Who can teach me? Why do I keep yelling, right? And same thing with almost every other field.
And to me, more than like if there's any legacy I get to leave in this world, it's not even the approach itself, even though I think our approach to parenting is very different. I just want parents to know like there is no shame in investing in learning and growing in parenting. And to look at that like they probably look at every other area of their life.
Yeah.
Someone said codependence. I don't know that much about that word, but something like that.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
I've never heard of that, but I love that. And it is in parallel, I think, with so many of the things I teach parents. So even the idea of locating someone, to me, like my version of people in my life that I know and love, even if I don't agree with anything they say, that I can locate They're like an egg with a shell. They have a shell. There's a boundary. We're really talking about boundaries.
We all have different levels of porousness to the external world. And I think if you know, and there's pros and cons of both. Like, I really mean this. I am not terribly porous to other people's experiences. I really have solid boundaries. There are definitely moments in my closest relationships because what people will say to me, okay, like, I know these are my feelings and not yours.
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