Dr. Darby Saxbe

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745 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 27 Jul

Dr. Darby Saxbe’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Modern Wisdom · The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129 · 27 Jul 2026 podcast

They are shaped by knowing the sex of the baby.

So new parents tend to describe a baby girl as being more delicate, more vulnerable.

Sweet.

Yeah, sweet, soft.

They might describe a baby boy as rambunctious or mischievous or tough and strong.

And so it may be that dads are getting more active and are playing with girls in a way that's more about cuddling and nurturing and are playing with boys in a way that's more about playing and activating.

And we know that, in fact, dads do have these kind of signature styles of playing with kids.

They do tend to engage in more of what's called proprioceptive touch activities.

just like picking babies up, moving them around in space, like really active exploratory kind of boundary pushing play.

And it may just be that dads are doing more of that when they've got a baby boy.

And that is why their testosterone isn't falling in exactly the same way.

Although, again, these are six-month-old babies, so they can't even pick up a truck.

Fighting something in a war is also keeping something alive.

But I would say like I would actually push back on that a little bit and say there is a role for socialization even in very young kids.

So in the book, I talked about an experiment that was done by the BBC where they brought a bunch of toddlers into a playroom and they got these adult volunteers and they switched the toddlers' names and outfits.

So they had a little girl.

They put her in boy clothes and gave her a boy's name.

They were trying to trick these playmate, these adult playmate volunteers.

So they took a little boy, put him in a dress, gave him a girl's name.

And they found that the volunteers played totally differently with the, I think these were two-year-olds, depending on the name and the outfit.

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