Dr. Ethan Kross

So, all right, let's get into that in a second. But I want to just frame why the motivational bit is so important here or this belief that you can do it is so ultra, ultra important. So the reason I started off this tool section of my book with this question of can you really control your emotions?

So, all right, let's get into that in a second. But I want to just frame why the motivational bit is so important here or this belief that you can do it is so ultra, ultra important. So the reason I started off this tool section of my book with this question of can you really control your emotions?

So, all right, let's get into that in a second. But I want to just frame why the motivational bit is so important here or this belief that you can do it is so ultra, ultra important. So the reason I started off this tool section of my book with this question of can you really control your emotions?

The reason why genuinely believing that there are facets to your emotional experience that are under your control is because if we zoom out, I think of managing one's emotions. There are two ingredients to the recipe for how to do that well. One is motivation and the other is ability. Let's start with motivation.

The reason why genuinely believing that there are facets to your emotional experience that are under your control is because if we zoom out, I think of managing one's emotions. There are two ingredients to the recipe for how to do that well. One is motivation and the other is ability. Let's start with motivation.

The reason why genuinely believing that there are facets to your emotional experience that are under your control is because if we zoom out, I think of managing one's emotions. There are two ingredients to the recipe for how to do that well. One is motivation and the other is ability. Let's start with motivation.

If you're not motivated to manage your emotions, why would you take any efforts to even try to do so? It wouldn't make much sense. It's not logical, right? If there's nothing I can do to lose weight, why should I do this hard stuff of lifting weights and going to the gym and paying for membership? It's just... You shouldn't, and you likely won't, right?

If you're not motivated to manage your emotions, why would you take any efforts to even try to do so? It wouldn't make much sense. It's not logical, right? If there's nothing I can do to lose weight, why should I do this hard stuff of lifting weights and going to the gym and paying for membership? It's just... You shouldn't, and you likely won't, right?

If you're not motivated to manage your emotions, why would you take any efforts to even try to do so? It wouldn't make much sense. It's not logical, right? If there's nothing I can do to lose weight, why should I do this hard stuff of lifting weights and going to the gym and paying for membership? It's just... You shouldn't, and you likely won't, right?

So step one is you need to have the motivation, the belief that you can manage your emotions. That's the first piece to this equation, and it's what our conversation is getting at right now. But that alone is not in and of itself sufficient, because I can think, to go back to physical fitness, that Yeah, I can do stuff to get in shape. And then I go to the gym.

So step one is you need to have the motivation, the belief that you can manage your emotions. That's the first piece to this equation, and it's what our conversation is getting at right now. But that alone is not in and of itself sufficient, because I can think, to go back to physical fitness, that Yeah, I can do stuff to get in shape. And then I go to the gym.

So step one is you need to have the motivation, the belief that you can manage your emotions. That's the first piece to this equation, and it's what our conversation is getting at right now. But that alone is not in and of itself sufficient, because I can think, to go back to physical fitness, that Yeah, I can do stuff to get in shape. And then I go to the gym.

And if I've never gone to the gym, I could start doing crazy things in there that actually cause more harm than good. So you also need to understand what are the tools that you can use to then achieve that goal. And if you have both of those pieces, the motivation, hell yeah, I can do this. And you know how to do it. Now we're talking business.

And if I've never gone to the gym, I could start doing crazy things in there that actually cause more harm than good. So you also need to understand what are the tools that you can use to then achieve that goal. And if you have both of those pieces, the motivation, hell yeah, I can do this. And you know how to do it. Now we're talking business.

And if I've never gone to the gym, I could start doing crazy things in there that actually cause more harm than good. So you also need to understand what are the tools that you can use to then achieve that goal. And if you have both of those pieces, the motivation, hell yeah, I can do this. And you know how to do it. Now we're talking business.

So Dunedin, so this gets to the other part of the question, right? So, okay, but so help me believe, Ethan, that it makes sense that we should care about this. If you look at this one classic study, so this was a study done in New Zealand, and it began in the early 70s. And what the researchers started doing is tracking this group of babies from the time they were just born.

So Dunedin, so this gets to the other part of the question, right? So, okay, but so help me believe, Ethan, that it makes sense that we should care about this. If you look at this one classic study, so this was a study done in New Zealand, and it began in the early 70s. And what the researchers started doing is tracking this group of babies from the time they were just born.

So Dunedin, so this gets to the other part of the question, right? So, okay, but so help me believe, Ethan, that it makes sense that we should care about this. If you look at this one classic study, so this was a study done in New Zealand, and it began in the early 70s. And what the researchers started doing is tracking this group of babies from the time they were just born.

Every few years, they would profile these kids' ability to manage their emotions. And they would profile them in a very rigorous way. They would put the kids through different... self-control tests. They would get their teachers and other people in their lives to report on how good they manage their emotions. And they'd get really fine-grained assessments of how good these kids were.

Every few years, they would profile these kids' ability to manage their emotions. And they would profile them in a very rigorous way. They would put the kids through different... self-control tests. They would get their teachers and other people in their lives to report on how good they manage their emotions. And they'd get really fine-grained assessments of how good these kids were.