Dr. Laura Anderson

speaker

471 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard May 2018 last heard May 2018

Dr. Laura Anderson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 108: Dr. Laura Anderson on Gender Noncomformity and Differently Wired Kids · 15 May 2018 podcast

And so they already feel as if something's most of them feel as if something's different about them.

They they're they know, they get the feedback, they get the messages.

And then if their parents aren't able to be affirming or are giving them the message that something's wrong, then that is a a really, really difficult thing for kids to feel good about themselves and thrive.

If parents do their work and can be supportive.

then all those factors are go out in the wash.

Then then it's entirely possible to have healthy, happy, functioning, thriving, gay or trans child.

I think it's it parents try to do some of their changing out of the belief that they're protecting their kids and they mean well.

But what we know from the research after decades is the harm that's done by parents sending the messaging

that their kid isn't okay and that something needs to change is is actually greater than the harm that's done by the kid who's teasing him at school that we're trying to protect our kids from.

So we accidentally

hurt our kids trying to protect them.

So we need to kind of make a switch and think about how to work with the environment our kid is in and how to teach our kid, you know, how to read safety cues in the environment and how to know where it is safe and how to handle feedback they're getting for being who they are.

So it just we just have to think differently about how we believe we're protecting our kids in these situations.

Yeah, I think what we know is that kids can actually generally identify a gender identity around age three, three to five.

That they can say, you know, yeah, I'm a boy or I'm a girl, m most kids.

Or they may say, I don't know, sort of a thing.

And yet, and so and with sexual orientation, just as an aside, again, to differentiate the two, it's not until kids are m average age of ten around that area.

But for gender stuff, it's three to five-ish.

And what we see is there's a subset of kids in the transgender community who are very clear.

And as I said, you'll hear this language: insistent, consistent, persistent about, no, mom, I'm a girl, and and and the parents.

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