Dr. Nicholas Epley

speaker

1,223 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 15 Jul

Dr. Nicholas Epley’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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The Liz Moody Podcast · The One Habit That Will Instantly Make You More Likeable · 15 Jul 2026 podcast

If I want to know what you're going to do in any given moment, I don't want to know how something's actually going to make you feel.

I want to know how you think something's going to make you feel.

Because it's those expectations that guide your choices about whether to engage or not.

People on the train thought that talking to a stranger would suck, and they were just wrong about that.

Yes.

We're highly social.

People don't like being ignored and overlooked and disregarded, right?

Sitting next to somebody and having them not see you or pay attention to you hurts.

In fact, right?

So Kip Williams, who's a psychologist at Purdue University, recently retired, has this beautiful study where people are walking down the sidewalk and either they are looked at by somebody and acknowledged,

or they're ignored by the person.

And it feels worse to just be ignored, just when you're walking down the sidewalk, to just be treated as invisible.

This little finding we had on the train is something we just see relentlessly.

Places where our pessimism about how other people might respond to us, if we reach out to connect with them, it's just misplaced.

It's just miscalibrated.

It doesn't mean we're completely wrong.

What it means is that

We tend to underestimate pretty systematically how well these things will go.

Sometimes conversations do go poorly, just not nearly as often as we imagine that they will.

And the upside tends to be much bigger than we imagine it will be.

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