Dr. Nicholas Epley

speaker

1,223 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 15 Jul

Dr. Nicholas Epley’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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The Liz Moody Podcast · The One Habit That Will Instantly Make You More Likeable · 15 Jul 2026 podcast

And we have a lot of power over ourselves.

There have been times in my life where my marriage hasn't been as strong, right?

And it would be easy to blame my wife for that.

But a lot of times I can look at myself too and think maybe I was doing things that weren't ideal in our marriage and I could make myself better for my partner and as a result, make our relationship stronger.

The place where you have power is with yourself.

And so if you're having a hard time connecting with people, you might ask yourself, are there things that I could be doing to make myself somebody who can be connected with better?

It is not that important, actually.

Not as important as people think.

Eli Finkel, who's a psychologist at Northwestern University, has run all kinds of research trying to pair people up with folks that they have things in common with beliefs and attitudes and personalities and stuff.

And nothing actually predicts.

We believe that what we want to be with are folks who are like us.

But in fact...

Quality of relationships, how connected people actually feel, really tends to come up kind of organically in the interaction itself.

The people who we enjoy being with are the people we enjoy being with, and having things in common is less important than people expect.

Part of it is that when you like being with somebody, you will find things you have in common.

I love being with my wife.

It's not because we had all kinds of things in common when we met.

I was a metalhead, you know, college football player when we met the guy who, you know, one of her friends said, oh, you like the guy who swears all the time.

We did not have a lot in common, but I loved being with her.

And then we have over the course of our 30 years of marriage, we have created all kinds of things.

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