Dr. Paul Conti

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979 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard May 2026 last heard 4 May

Dr. Paul Conti’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Huberman Lab · Tools to Bolster Your Mental Health & Confidence | Dr. Paul Conti · 4 May 2026 podcast

So now they're not controlling things in a way that does make sense.

They're not exercising the healthy control of a parent.

So they could identify with what the parent did and do the same thing, or they could push away from it and do the opposite.

But the opposite isn't good either, right?

It's insight that lets us say, oh, no, my parent or parents were over-controlling.

And maybe that even, it got to a place where it was very, very difficult and maybe even abusive.

And I don't want to be like that.

And I'm not going to be like that, but I'm not gonna rush to the opposite pole either.

And now I have to, I get to, I both have to and get to figure out what's a healthy level of control.

How much control does it make sense to exert to keep the child safe, for example, but also to then allow the child enough latitude to be growing and making their own decisions.

So it's insight that says, oh, I see, I see what that was in my past.

And often we do need to do that often.

Early childhood experiences, especially experiences within family units, have a great impact upon us and often will guide our behaviors and then kind of like automatons, we're acting one way or we're acting another and we don't know why.

But it's insight that lets us gain the understanding.

Here's how it was when I was growing up.

I can look at that.

I can see it, good, bad, or otherwise, right?

And then I can decide, how do I want to integrate that information to how the whole me is going to be in the driver's seat of being a good parent?

When we realize that there's something, whether it's external or internal controlling us,

It diffuses that tension.

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