Dr. Robyn Koslowitz
speaker
1,220 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Sep 2025
last heard 22 Jan
Dr. Robyn Koslowitz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jan 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Yeah.
Yeah, you're building the airplane as you're flying it.
I had once had a mom say that to me, like my whole life I was raised to be selfless, which is very common, I think, in a lot of traditional cultures.
And like you put everyone's needs ahead of yourself and like I'm just supposed to be this selfless person.
And now you're telling me to bring my whole self to parenting, but I don't have a self.
I'm selfless.
And I remember like being so struck by what she said, like, right, yeah, you gotta build the self to parent.
So for me, trauma is any experience too big for your brain to metabolize.
So anything that happens where when you finish it, you say, wait, what just happened to me?
Who am I again?
Am I safe in this world?
Can I cope?
That experience was traumatic.
And I know some people say that that's like a very wide definition of trauma.
But when you define trauma that way, then you get away from the specifics of like what happened to you.
details of the story.
Because what I've discovered in treating so many traumatized parents and so many traumatized people is that very often the story that would grab the headlines is not the thing that created the psychological impact on the brain.
Very often it's the quiet moments that wouldn't grab the headlines that actually traumatize you.
So like in the book, I have an example of a woman who lost her mom to cancer.
I think everybody would agree that losing your mom to cancer when you're like nine years old or whatever age she was is traumatic.
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