TPP 464: Dr. Robyn Koslowitz on Post-Traumatic Parenting and Breaking the Cycles that Almost Broke You

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What personal experiences led Dr. Koslowitz to create the Post‑Traumatic Parenting model?

Unknown 0:00
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Debbie Reber 0:29
I'm Debbie Reber, and this is Full Tilt Parenting. It's a podcast all about raising, supporting, loving, nurturing neurodivergent kids. And today we're diving into the ways our own trauma can shape how we show up as parents and how we can begin to break those inherited cycles. So my guest is Dr. Robin Kozlowitz. She's a clinical child psychologist, trauma treatment expert, and the author of a fascinating new book called Post-Trauma. Traumatic parenting, break the cycle, become the parent you always wanted to be. Robin is also the founder of the post-traumatic parenting model through which she helps parents transform trauma into growth and become the parents their children and their own inner child need.
Debbie Reber 1:09
So in this conversation, Robin is going to share insights from her book, including this concept of secret aces, the trauma app that can override our instincts, and the Different subtypes of post-traumatic parenting. We also talk about how to recognize our own triggers, the importance of self-care, and the role of the inner child in this work. Robin's approach blends research, clinical wisdom, and lived experience. And she has so many practical hacks for navigating the challenges of parenting when trauma is part of our story. So here's my conversation with Dr. Robin Kozlowitz. Hey Robin, welcome to the podcast.
Dr. Robyn Koslowitz 1:46
Thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited. It's really fun to have the opportunity to be on a podcast I actually listen to. It's very cool.
Debbie Reber 1:54
It's always great for me to have guests on who are familiar with my show. So I'm excited. This is going to be a good conversation. I'm not going to bury the lead. I told you this before I hit record, but we're going to be talking about your book, which is called Post Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be. And I loved your book. I have so many pages of notes, and I'm really excited to dive into it today. So, what I was thinking in terms terms of getting started, if you would share some of your personal story, which is so powerful and you share it in the book that led you to doing this work that you're doing today.
Dr. Robyn Koslowitz 2:29
Yeah, so kind of like you, I wanted to write the book that I would have needed to read when I became a mom. Like I remember reading parenting books that are, you know, that would say all these things like share your calm with your children or this is how you should talk to them. This is how to like remain centered with them. And I remember thinking like, but what if you don't have calm to share? And for me, I kind of felt like all those parenting books were written as though you're on the second floor of a mall and you need to get to the roof. And there's a map right there and there's elevators and there's like complicated directions, but you get to the roof. But I'm in the sub basement and it's pitch black and I don't have a map and I don't have light and I need to get from the sub basement to the second floor.
Dr. Robyn Koslowitz 3:13
From the second floor, I get it, but I gotta get from there. So I wrote my book as that bridge. Between the sub-basement of parenting with trauma and all the wonderful advice in every parenting book you can think of. Because it turns out if you don't have calm to share, then you can't share your calm. Right? So for me, when I was pregnant 27 almost years ago at this point, I was a grad student and I knew I had PTSD. And I went to those stacks at the library to look for research on like literally what will flashbacks do to my baby? Meaning like if it's this unpleasant for me to be inside my body, what is this doing to a fetus inside my body? Like this can't be a good thing. And then it became, how do you explain a flashback to a toddler?

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