Drew Carey
speaker
276 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Drew Carey’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Yeah, I get it. So Letterman, it was going okay. The interview was, And then towards the end, he set me up with a story. He changed the wording and I didn't hear the keywords I was expecting. So I didn't tell the right story. Oh no. I just was like fumbling. It was interesting. You told a different story. It wasn't funny, but I was like, yeah, blah, blah, blah. And then it trailed off.
And then he goes, okay, well, we're going to go to commercial. And he goes to commercial and it was in December. Around Christmas time. And he leans over to me. He goes, hey, man, I'm really sorry about this crowd. This is such a nowhere crowd. It's the holidays. This crowd's nowhere. They bring a cigar out. He's smoking a cigar. It's crazy. In studio. Wild. Smoking a cigar during the commercials.
And I go, oh, I'm really sorry. I just didn't hear the cue right. And it was different when I was back then. And he looks straight out above the audience's head with his cigar. And he goes, fuck it. Just fuck it.
Thinking about his flight to the Bahamas in five hours. The next time that I was on Letterman, I was doing a show, and I forget the name of the actress. She was a child actor then. She was in All the Pretty Horses, and she's a famous adult, but I can't blank on her name. But she's like 14, 13, something like that. I was the lead guest. She was on.
And Warner Brothers had given me a Porsche to renegotiate my contract. They just gave me a car. Taxes paid for and everything. Here's your car. And that was one of their common negotiating tactics. Because I remember driving them a lot one time and in front of...
set there was like 10 porsches lined up you're like oh there's the entire cast's cars yeah they must have just signed their deals yeah that's what they did smart but all the talent wanted porsches that's the talent car you don't want a mercedes or jaguar that's the executive car yeah we had a whole discussion about what car to ask whatever this one it's funny
Podcast one, I'm open to this idea, by the way. Yeah. I just got this Porsche, and I had three weeks to get to New York. I had all the time in the world. So it was one of the best vacations I ever had. I want to get away from everybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. You probably value your alone time.
Or even without the kids. You're like, can I have an hour just for me?
It's church time. Don't fucking bother me. Everybody has that, including me. So I was doing a driving trip all by myself, and I left LA. I went to... 29 palms to get massages for a couple of days. Cut that short because I over-massaged. I was like, I can't get three massages a day. I'm bruised. It went out of my mind. Then I drove up and I went to Vegas.
I kept going north through Idaho, got to Montana, made a right. I just wasn't even looking at a map. I just knew generally where I had to go. All my clothes weren't even in a suitcase. They were in my trunk. I would grab a shirt, underwear, socks for the next day, and I'd grab my toiletry kit, my computer bag, go into my room. That's what I had.
I'd put the dirty clothes in a bag, and I would mail dirty clothes home. Mail them home. Oh, wow. And if I needed new clothes, I would stop at a Gap Outlet store or a Gap, and I would just buy new clothes and just put on a T-shirt. I was just driving. Three weeks. Wow. Nobody bugging me. And when I got to Montana and made a right...
I just knew the road was going east and it was one of these like two blacktop roads. It wasn't the main freeway. I didn't want to go on those. And the speed limit then was you had to drive judiciously. I forget what the sign said. No actual speed limit. Yeah. So I was like, fuck, nobody's around. I'm in a Porsche. You can go 110. Had the top down. Got it up to 110, 120 with the top down.
Then I pulled over and I go, I'm getting dragged from having the top down. Let me put the top up, see what this thing can do. Got it up to 160. I don't know, three minutes. That's scary. It was. Yeah. But there was literally not another car in sight this whole time. I could have been dead. You could have hit a pebble and flown 30 feet in the air.
It would have been an hour before somebody found me. It was one of those roads in a noir movie where they leave the body. And I was just like, bam. And then I slowed down. I was like, wow, that was, I was like shaking. I was like, wow, that was really cool. I ended up driving to New York City when I got to Letterman. I told that story.
I was in Montana and I got to go 160 because they don't have a speed limit. And he had owned like four Porsches. He was like, really? Huh. That's pretty funny. Everybody was laughing because they knew Letterman had a Porsche and we were laughing about guys talking about speeding and getting away with it. Sure.
And then the actress came on and talked about filming All the Pretty Horses in Montana, how beautiful it was and how gorgeous Montana was. And I remember backstage, Letterman saw me backstage at the theater. He goes, hey, great job tonight. I go, yeah, thanks for having me, man. And he goes, Montana, huh? And I go, yeah, it was great. No speed limit. All right, take care. I leave the next day.
I start driving down to Orlando because I'm going to meet all the cast. And on Monday, I forget what little town I'm in, but I stop for breakfast. I buy a USA Today. I opened it up as a little article that David Letterman over the weekend had gotten a ticket in Butte, Montana for going 40 in a 25. Fucking guy flew to Montana. Oh my God. Probably in a private jet. Yeah. Shipped his Porsche over.
Or rented some kind of car because he was going to go to the freeway and just gun it. Yeah. And he got a 40 and a 25 and beat Montana.
Never booked that guy again. If you book that guy again, send him the bill for this ticket. And the next time I was on a show, I was telling that story. Okay.
You might want to get a paycheck. You got to keep people like that around you. That'll just tell you the truth all the time in Hollywood. If you don't have those kind of people around you, I pity you, honestly. If you don't have a ball buster next to you, that'll tell you. My comic friends, keep me humble. Don't tell a comic your weakness. That's all you'll hear about the rest of your life.
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