Duncan Hyde

By this stage, I could only walk from the knees down.

as I had from my knees to my arse completely locked down.

I gingerly got to the front desk and told them my name.

No sorry sir, due to the fires we've had to put you up in a bed and breakfast out of town.

The motel owner had a little granny flat out the back of his house and that's where they stuck me.

My boss had failed to mention this.

So I had to pick up my bags very cautiously.

while still maintaining that I was clenching everything as I moved and walked back to my car.

I wish I had footage as I was walking like I was in a limbo contest and on a tightrope at the same time.

I slowly slid back in my car and had to follow the owner out of town.

I cannot stress enough the situation unfolding in my stomach.

It can only be described as catastrophic.

I lowered the seat as low as I could.

hands to soak and still see the road to ease the pressure.

By this stage, I was sweating like a nun in a cucumber patch.

We finally got to the flat and I was a fucking mess.

I couldn't speak, blink, walk or breathe.

I was fucked.

The lovely man opens the door and we were both hit by a stench that almost knocked us over.

The Airbnb hadn't been used for months and there was a giant fucking dead half-rotten rat on the kitchen floor maggots the lot.