Duncan Hyde
speaker
11,324 appearances
39 recordings
2 series
first heard Apr 2026
last heard 4d ago
Duncan Hyde’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 39 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 10.
Appearances
Me and my mates were at the back because we were fucking kings.
A girl I'd never seen before came up to the centre aisle to ask if she could sit with us.
She must have been 12, fresh into secondary school.
Now, not wanting to be seen with a random young girl, I politely replied, probably best to stay at the front in case the driver does a head count.
Pretty reasonable.
I didn't fucking know this girl.
I didn't know this girl had a screw loose.
She'd lost the whole fucking toolbox.
LAUGHTER
So I'm stood facing her, and I turn my head back towards my pals to carry on talking, and then the world turns fucking black.
And I can't remember the last five minutes.
I'd been absolutely clattered in the bollocks.
Of course I wanted to roundhouse that little prick.
However, I was too busy clutching my balls to make sure that I didn't shit them out my arsehole.
After gathering myself as the guy who just became very seriously fucking uncool, I strutted it off with a limp and a whimper, trying to hold any dignity that didn't leak out my sack that I still had left.
That's the support you look for from a mother?
Yeah.
So I got there and I was in a world of bother.
I told my mates and anyone I could find about my situation, obviously leaving out the fact that I got my ass kicked by a 13-year-old girl.
But I feel, looking back on it, I just came across as a really perverted, horny teenager who had blue balls.
Showing 1441–1460 of 11,324 · page 73 of 567
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