Gemma Cribb
speaker
1,656 appearances
19 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2017
last heard Jan 2020
Gemma Cribb’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Most common sort of wisdom on the subject says that you actually have to get to know someone over a longer period of time, a matter of months.
And of course, because as you know, your brain's on drugs, so you're not necessarily thinking as clearly as you could be.
You're only noticing all the amazing parts of this person, not noticing all the parts that might not be such a good fit.
So you do have to test this person out over a period of time as well.
Once again, they're not 100% sure of what happens when you have that feeling.
It's kind of the X factor that nobody can really predict.
They think it's based on pheromones, so unconsciously you're attracted to this person's pheromones.
We also know that attraction is mainly based on similarity, so you pick out similar features, not on a conscious level, more on an unconscious level that there's a sense of familiarity or similarity.
That whole love at first sight thing's got more to do with attraction than it has the person's personality.
You don't actually fall in love at first sight.
You just kind of get the hots for someone at first sight.
And that love happens over time where you get to know them and you share.
Now, of course, love grows with intimacy.
So the more you share with this person and tell them about who you really are, the more vulnerable you are and the more vulnerable they are, the greater that feeling happens.
And also eye contact is really important to get all those lovely juicy chemicals flowing.
So face to face, eye to eye, staring into each other's eyes for hours on end.
So lovely and
It's actually designed to blind you, Nat, which is really a crappy state of affairs in some people's books, but...
Yeah, you're actually chemically enhanced to only focus on the good things and to dismiss the bad things.
So one of my teachers, a man named Stanley Tatkin, had this really great idea of running all your new partners past your very stable long-term friends so that they can check out the partner and make sure you're not just making a silly choice because your brain's on drugs.
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