New Relationship Energy - aka the 'honeymoon phase'
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What chemical cocktail fuels New Relationship Energy (NRE) and how does it affect us?
There's this huge cocktail of chemicals in your brain that's being released for this new person. Dopamine makes you feel on top of the world. You feel sort of superhuman and amazing. You've got adrenaline that's being released. You can talk for hours into the evening or, you know, have lots and lots of sex, all that sort of stuff.
Warning, adult content. The Hookup, love and ****ing on Triple J. Being in a new relationship can make you feel crazy. The colours are brighter and your heart is full and you can't stop thinking about that person, no matter what you do. Hey, I'm Nat Tanchich and look, I know it wasn't very long ago, just a few episodes really in your podcast feed that I was oversharing about my really painful breakup and it was one of the hardest things that I ever went through and one of the hardest things to share with you. But life is nothing if not a rollercoaster because I'm currently three months into a new relationship and And I am very much ridiculously in love. I'm distracted all the time. I want to talk about it to anyone who'll listen.
And I want to make all the stupid decisions, like nearly moving in together with somebody after two months, even though it's a terrible idea and we absolutely didn't do it. So don't even worry about it. But I've also, I've been here before a few times and I know it's the best feeling, you know, the limerence period. It's New relationship energy. We chase it like a drug. But we're also warned that it won't last. And I know from experience that it doesn't. So how do you enjoy it and how do you really get into it without losing who you are? How do you keep things in perspective? I've made that mistake in the past and I want a bit of advice on how to get through it this time. I want to make the most of it, but it is also kind of scary.
Well, obviously there's someone else in this equation, my partner Tully. So I thought that I'd speak to him and see how the whole new relationship energy situation has been going for him. I love how excited you are about the prospects of being on the radio. I love that. It's very exciting to me.
Yeah, you also mentioned that you were excited to tell everybody and that's kind of why I was really excited to tell everybody on the radio. Like, I love you, Nat.
Ah! So gross. So, you know, I just want to have a casual conversation about new relationship energy. How many times would you say you've experienced NRE?
Most new relationships, I've had that feeling. But I think this one, it's been something quite different. It's been stronger and lasted much longer than I anticipated.
Well, they say it's going to last like a year to 18 months. Are you ready for that?
Absolutely.
Me too. It's also been very intense, but very good. How would you describe the feeling to somebody who's never had NRE before?
It's a mixture of slight anxiety, excitement. I've been incredibly distracted in everything I do. First thing I do when I wake up in the morning is think of you and you're the last person, last thing I think of before going to sleep.
It's very similar and I check my phone constantly at work to see if you've texted me and I... There are some days that I just can't focus on doing stuff and I'm meant to be working on the show, but I just think about you. And then I thought, you know what? Let's make the show about you this week. I feel like very, you know, it's that feeling of being in love again where you want to just tell everyone and that's like all you want to talk about and you feel like you're starting to bore people because you just want to gush about your new relationship and you can see people's faces going from like happy and cute to oh my god I'm so over this. But you don't care and you can't stop yourself.
Yeah, I quite enjoy telling new people about you because a number of people have said, like, you just look different. You look happy and really upbeat and they can see it on my face, just how much I love you.
Do you ever think about this period, like what will change or what will happen after this period?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What chemical cocktail fuels New Relationship Energy (NRE) and how does it affect us?
0:00–5:23
2
How can I enjoy the honeymoon phase without losing my sense of self?
5:23–10:44
3
Why does NRE usually fade after 12‑18 months and what signs indicate it’s ending?
10:44–15:51
4
How can I tell if NRE is blinding me to red flags or important values?
15:51–20:31
5
What practical steps keep the spark alive after the initial buzz fades?
20:31–25:03
6
How can couples maintain healthy boundaries and personal space during NRE?
25:03–30:36
7
Can the intense NRE feeling reappear later in a relationship, and how?
30:36–36:54
8
How do mental health issues and attachment styles influence NRE experiences?
36:54–41:19