Gemma Cribb
speaker
1,656 appearances
19 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2017
last heard Jan 2020
Gemma Cribb’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
more often than not that people are ambivalent about the decision to start with because it's a pretty big decision.
Yeah.
I I think probably finding some time to have a conversation with her and explain that you've done some thinking and that you've realized that you're not into open relationships and
that maybe you understand if that's something she needs to do but it's not something that you wanna do in the relationship would be a good first point.
Uh hopefully not on her birthday, but see what you can do.
Wow, okay, we we're pulling faces here.
W with a cutthroat symbol.
I I I'm not sure.
What is it that you see in this relationship with this person that's been unfaithful to you?
You can certainly reestablish trust with a trustworthy person, but my question would be more around have you assessed this person's characteristics and and is this the sort of person that will be able to be trustworthy when you're together and when you give up everything that you
Yeah, say that you're gonna have to give up.
So things like having impulse control and self awareness and a good sense of responsibility and
accepting each other's difference and similar values, all of those are really good personality characteristics that you wanna select in a partner so that, you know, you can weather the good times and the bad and and if there was by chance any infidelity that would give you a really good basis to work through it with a therapist.
Well, I certainly think that the trying to change someone else is a really big waste of time and energy.
You you can only change yourself.
Um you can't change other people.
The other thing I'd say to this person is to have a little look at whether her values align with her partners because if she has values around achievement and
and success in a career sense and he doesn't, they might actually have very different dreams for the future and and very different priorities that will cause
ongoing conflict if she were to stay in the relationship.
Yeah, when you're very different people, um, it can cause ongoing conflict and so some couples can handle it and can communicate well and um deal with the ongoing disputes.
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